In Repair
by angel85qcca
Summary: Sequel to I Know Better. Nate and Jenny decide that they don't like the way they have been living their lives, and help each other out.
1. Chapter 1

**A/N: It's here! You might want to read the prequel, I Know Better, first. This story takes place right after the other one ends. Also, keep in mind I have a plan, and this will be a Nate/Jenny story. Just have faith (us NJ shippers have plenty of that!).

* * *

**

Nate had a feeling of déjà vu when he walked into the empty room. It was the exact same place where they had been when they hammered out the details of the truce between Chuck and Blair. Now, the four friends were together again, and the tension was even higher than it had been the first time around. The night before had been the Saints and Sinners party at the Empire, and it was apparent that Juliet and Jenny's plan had worked: Nate's three friends were barely looking at each other.

"Thank you all for coming," Nate started. He could barely believe how formal he sounded. "I've called you all here because I hope that we can find a way to allow Jenny to come back to Manhattan."

Serena and Blair's mouths dropped, and he could see the disbelief on their faces. Chuck, however, chuckled as if he had known it was coming. Nate continued.

"I know she's done things to all of us, but I'm hoping we can put all that in the past, and move on."

"No way!" said Blair. She was the first one to speak, and Nate knew she would be the hardest to convince. "I banished her for a reason, and every time she has come back she's turned the Upper East Side upside down. I will not let that happen again."

Serena nodded, but didn't add anything. Nate looked at Chuck but couldn't determine whether he agreed with Blair or not.

Nate had hoped to reason with his friends, but it was clear his expectations had been unrealistic. He was never one for schemes and blackmail, but no one denied Nate Archibald: what he wanted he always got.

So he reminded his friends of things he knew about each of them, things he knew they would rather keep secret: a certain party Serena wanted to forget ever happened, the fact that Chuck had applied to Columbia for Blair, and Chuck, well, he knew all kinds of things Chuck wanted to keep on the down low. He had Chuck's little black book in his possession for an entire summer, after all.

Chuck and Serena gave in easily, but Blair took a little longer. She knew that letting the girl come back compromised her authority, so before giving in she issued all kinds of rules, threats and ultimatums: don't let Jenny on the Columbia campus, or at her mother's penthouse, for example. And Blair had dibs on all the designer collections: Jenny could only go shopping after Blair, and she could never buy the same things as the older girl. In the end, though, Nate got what he wanted: Jenny would come back to live with her family and she would be left alone.

His next step was contacting Lily to tell her the good news and ask her to get Jenny back into Constance. He didn't know if Rufus would be happy to have Jenny back as the man had fully supported Jenny when she had decided to leave for Hudson. Lily, however, believed that a family was stronger when they were together, and she knew Jenny would have opportunities in New York that she wouldn't have anywhere else, so she wasn't difficult to convince. "Don't worry about Rufus," she said, "I'll take care of him."So he moved on to the next phase of his plan.

When he called Jenny, he had to take the phone away from his ear as she screamed her joy. She thanked him over and over again, to the point where he felt bad for abandoning her in the first place. She must have been very lonely in Hudson, and he hadn't been a very good friend to her. He never thought he would be one of those people who applied the saying 'out of sight, out of mind,' but in the end that was what he had done. As soon as Jenny had left Manhattan he had made himself forget about her completely. He hadn't cared that she wasn't around her friends and family anymore, or the damage that had come with sleeping with Chuck and getting exiled. In other words, he felt like a crappy friend.

After hanging up with Jenny, and making promises to see each other as soon as she got back, he started thinking back to the last few months, and everything that had happened since she left. He had spent that crazy summer going through Chuck's little black book. Then, he had let Serena get between him and Dan. After Serena, he was so desperate to move on that he jumped head first into a relationship with Juliet, who had wrecked havoc in all of their lives. On top of all that, he had seriously neglected his studies and his training.

When he finished taking a long, hard look at himself, Nate realized things had to change, and it had to be soon. He was on his way to becoming a man he did not want to become, one who was defined by his relationship with women. He'd tried being a playboy, and that didn't work. He'd tried being Serena's boyfriend, and that hadn't worked either. Now, it was clear to him that he had to figure out who he was and who he wanted to be before he entered in another relationship. He was grateful that Jenny would be back. He knew that she would be able to help him figure it all out; he always felt the most like himself when he was around her.

He had just finished his self-assessment when his cell phone rang. When he saw Serena's name on the screen, he debated whether to answer or not. But curiosity got the better of him and he answered and agreed to get a drink with her at the bar of the Empire. As he hung up, he laughed at himself. He hadn't even decided to be single for five minutes before agreeing to meet with Serena. Sure, they were friends, but he knew this wasn't a friendly drink.

When he got to the bar, he saw that Serena wasn't there yet so he ordered a drink and sat down. He thought back to Jenny's words the day before. _Don't you want someone who just wants to be with you, Nate? Someone who couldn't even imagine being with anyone else?_ Nate would be crazy to deny that he did want all those things, and he didn't know if Serena would ever be able to give them to him. But a big part of him couldn't ignore all the history they shared. They had come a long way since high school, when he and Blair were together and he lost his virginity on a bar. And while they had had some bad times, there were a lot of good ones, too. He knew that he needed to decide if the good outweighed the bad.

In the end, when she showed up, Nate hadn't made up his mind on what he wanted to happen. However, the second he saw her coming, he felt his heart beat a little faster, and then a little more when she smiled at him. He added that to his mental pro-con list, along with _great sex_ (pro) and _never talks to me about her problems_ (con). He watched her as she sat down and ordered, noting that she seemed nervous.

"So, I wanted to talk about last night," Serena started. When Nate didn't say anything, she continued. "I never got your text about the date. And when I kissed you at the ball, well, that wasn't me. It was Juliet."

"It wasn't Juliet," Nate said, "it was Jenny." Serena was dumbfounded and apparently speechless, because her mouth opened but no sound came out. "I knew right away that she wasn't you. She was going to leave but I stopped her, and we talked."

"Well, it all makes sense now. So that's how she convinced you to blackmail us into letting her come back?" Serena asked angrily. "I was confused when you summoned us this morning, but I get it now."

"The blackmail was my idea, and she never asked for anything."

"Come on, Nate, you know Jenny! She did it on purpose, to get you to do what she wants. I bet she pulled the old 'Oh, Nate, I'm so alone, no one understands me' card, and you played right into her hand!"

"I don't care what you think, at this point. You agreed to it, and that's all that matters to me." Serena was speechless again, and she looked at Nate as if she couldn't tell who he was anymore.

"Wait, that means you left the party, with Jenny, when you knew I would be there looking for you?" Serena asked.

"I didn't know you were there looking for me! And Jenny wasn't supposed to be there, if anyone had found out she would have been in big trouble."

"So, protecting Jenny is more important than saving our relationship?" The tone was quickly escalating.

"Jenny's my friend! And you and I haven't had a relationship since we broke up last spring!" Nate almost yelled.

The tone of the conversation had risen to the point where people at the other tables were looking at them. Nate sat back in his chair and took a deep breath, trying to calm himself down.

"Look," he said, "I don't want to fight about Jenny. If you want to talk about me and you, then we can do that."

"But you did all this for her, Nate. Does it mean you have feelings for her? You know she's in love with you."

"Yes, I know. But we're friends, just friends, and you're going to have to trust me on that."

Serena was quiet for a moment. "Fine," she said, "but you haven't said anything about me going to find you at the party. It was you I was coming to kiss, Nate. We have so much history together; I think we have to give it a try. I love you so much." She leaned forward and touched his face, but Nate pulled away. He couldn't help but feel that this was sudden. Before the party, he had been sure she would choose Dan.

"Serena... I don't know if we should be together right now. I don't know if I should be with anyone at all." Nate looked at Serena and his heart broke a little when he saw that she was devastated. "I just... I don't know. Everything was great at the beginning, but the moment things got difficult, you bailed. You didn't confide in me about your father, you went to Dan, and when I wanted to work things out you left. How do I know things are going to be different this time?"

"I won't risk losing you again, Nate, I'll do anything I can to convince you that I'm serious about this."

"Anything?" he asked.

"Anything," she answered. She looked truthful and Nate really wanted to believe her. He couldn't help but think that he might regret it if he didn't give her another chance.

"I want you to be nice to Jenny when she comes back. Not just tolerate her, but actually be nice to her. And she and I are going to hang out, so you're going to have to be okay with that. She needs friends right now."

Serena hesitated a bit, but she nodded. "Okay, I'll be nice to Jenny."

"Then we can date," Nate replied. "I don't want to just jump back into a relationship. It's going to take time to repair the damage that's been done. But I really want to try."

She gave him a big smile, and his heart started beating fast again. He couldn't help but doubt himself, but he had made a decision, and he was going to stick to it.

* * *

As Nate took the elevator back to his and Chuck's penthouse he couldn't help but wonder what Jenny would think of his decision. She said she wanted him to be happy, and he had been happy at the beginning of his relationship with Serena; if there was a chance of getting that back, he wanted to try.

As soon as he was back in the penthouse he went to the closet and took out his suitcase. However, he only had time to put it on the bed when he heard someone walk into the suite.

"Nate?" Dan called.

Nate walked out to the living room and, sure enough, Dan was there. He couldn't remember ever seeing him in the suite, and his friend looked out of place.

"Is it true?" Dan asked. His voice was tense, and Nate noticed the rest of him was too. "Is it true you arranged for Jenny to come back?"

Nate sighed. "Yes, it's true. I thought you'd be happy."

"Do you remember what she did before she left? And the hell she's caused every time she's come back? That's not my little sister, Nate!"

"I know that," Nate said. He was trying to stay calm, but Dan was angry and he couldn't understand why.

"So when did you become a masochist? She's one of the reasons you and Serena broke up!"

"Look, Jenny said she didn't like it out in Hudson, and that she was sorry for everything she did. Can't you just give her a second chance?"

"She's had a second chance! And a third, and a fourth!" Dan's voice kept getting louder, and he had started pacing.

"She really wants things to be different this time. She's your sister, Dan, I know you love her."

"Take it back. Whatever you did to get her to come back, take it back."

Nate was getting more and more upset: Dan wasn't listening to him. He couldn't believe that Jenny's own brother didn't want her to come back, didn't want to believe that she could change. "I won't take it back, forget it. She wants to be here, and she deserves to be. No one should be exiled from their own family!"

"Fine, then. When it all goes to hell, it will be on you. But I won't be around to watch."

Dan walked back over to the elevator and pressed the down button. "Wait," Nate said, "are you saying you won't be there to help her?"

The elevator doors opened and Dan got in. "I tried, Nate. I can't do it anymore. She's proven over and over again that she can't be trusted. Frankly, I think you're a fool for believing her."

Nate was too dumbfounded to reply, and stared at the elevator long after Dan was gone. He realised he hadn't even told him about dating Serena. He was taken out of his trance when the doors opened again and Chuck walked in.

"I just ran into Humphrey," Chuck said, "and he didn't look very happy. I thought you two were bosom buddies again."

"He's pissed Jenny's coming back," Nate answered. He walked back over to his room, opened the luggage he had put on the bed, and started emptying the drawers one by one, dumping their content in the suitcases.

He heard Chuck approaching, two glasses of scotch in his hands. He put one on the bedside table for Nate and took a sip of the other one. "Going on a trip?" Chuck asked.

"I'm moving out, and back into my apartment." Nate finished emptying the drawers and moved on to the closet.

"I didn't know you had an apartment," Chuck said.

"I got it when Blair and I got together, and I kept it after I moved in here, in case it didn't work out."

"It's nice to know you have so much faith in us," Chuck said, smiling.

"I just need to be on my own, for a while," Nate answered.

"And it doesn't have anything to do with little Jennifer Humphrey coming back to town?"

Nate paused. Hearing Chuck say Jenny's name unnerved him a little. "I doubt she's going to want to hang out here after what happened," he replied. He kept to his task, not looking at Chuck. After a while, the man he called his best friend left the room and Nate heard him sit down on the couch.

He quickly finished packing his things, and was amazed at how little time it took him. He had moved so many times in the last few years that he only carried the bare essentials with him. He realized he missed his things, his trophies, his books, and made a mental note to call his mom to ask where those things were so he could find a place for them in his apartment.

As he walked to the elevator with his luggage he couldn't think of anything to say. And it seemed like Chuck couldn't either, because the only sound that could be heard was the clinking of the ice cubes in Chuck's drink as the elevator doors closed.


	2. Chapter 2

**A.N: First of all, I want to thank my amazing beta, -xGuiltyxPleasure-. She has been amazingly patient and honest with me and this story wouldn't be what it is without her. And secondly, I promise NJ scenes in the next chapter. Patience is a virtue, they say!**

**

* * *

**

That Sunday afternoon, Jenny was back at her parents' penthouse, unpacking the few belongings she had had time to bring with her from Hudson. Constance's headmistress had let Jenny back in on the condition that she start right away. They were almost half-way through the semester and Jenny was very much behind on most subjects. The New York school's curriculum was much more advanced and Jenny would have a lot of catching up to do. However, she was grateful for the challenge: if she was busy with school, she wouldn't have time to get in trouble.

Lily and Eric had welcomed her with open arms, and Jenny knew right away that coming back had been the right idea. While life at Hudson had been easier, it had also been empty. She had no friends, and her mother was always busy with her new boyfriend, who wasn't that excited about becoming a full-time step parent. Jenny and Eric had some difficulties before the summer but they had made up after she slept with Chuck, and he had been a wonderful friend to her. However, he was still in another city and they couldn't hang out on a daily basis.

She was sad to say it, but she felt closer to Lily than she did her own mother. Alison didn't understand what Jenny had gone through, and had thought it stupid of her daughter to be involved in all those schemes. But Lily understood that the city was full of temptation, and that it was difficult to resist. She knew that in order to do so you had to level the playing field, but that often came at a cost.

Her dad seemed to be ambivalent about the whole situation. He had been in Lily's world long enough to understand the deception and the lies that came with it, but he was still holding on to the image of a fourteen year-old Jenny in his head. Jenny had felt like she had been caught between two worlds: she had been the Queen of Constance and had more power than she knew what to do with, but her father had still treated her like a child. She had tried everything she could to change his perception of her, including dating Damien and dealing drugs, but it was all in vain. He saw her as a fallen angel, and she didn't know how to get him to trust her again.

At Lily's insistence, however, her dad had agreed to wipe the slate clean. There were a lot of rules she had to follow: she had to be home by ten on school nights, midnight on weekends, she had to keep a B+ average at school, and all dates and outings had to be preapproved. It already made Jenny feel suffocated, but he promised her that if everything went well and she didn't get into trouble, he would eventually give her more leeway.

Jenny was unpacking her things in her room alone, Lily and Eric having just disappeared. She was surprised to see Serena stand in the doorway with a huge suitcase. The older girl didn't even greet her before marking her territory.

"This is my room," Serena said, "you can move to Chuck's old room."

Jenny wanted to tell her that Lily had said that it was alright if she took back her old room, but she didn't want to provoke her older sister. There was a lot of tension still between them, and if they were going to be living together, like it seemed they were going to, then they would have to make peace. Thankfully, Lily arrived before she had a chance to answer.

"Serena, honey, are you moving back in?" the mother asked. Serena nodded. "Well, you're going to have to take Chuck's room; I already told Jenny she could have this one."

Serena gave Jenny a death stare, sighed loudly, and then took her suitcase to her new room. Lily gave her a reassuring smile, but Jenny didn't feel comforted. She didn't think she would have to live with Serena. Suddenly, moving back in didn't feel like such a great idea.

Jenny took a deep breath and decided to stop feeling sorry for herself. She was going to have to coexist with Serena, so she might as well try to fix things. She walked over to her sister's room, and saw that Serena had already opened the suitcase and started to pull some clothes out of it. Jenny knew that Serena would get bored quickly with unpacking: she always did. The maid would have to finish putting everything in its place.

Jenny walked in the room, but Serena ignored her.

"I didn't know you were moving back in," Jenny started. It was an obvious statement, but Jenny had no idea how to start the conversation she really wanted to have.

"Well, your and Juliet's plan worked, so Blair and I aren't speaking," answered Serena. Jenny felt guilty and stupid: it obviously hadn't been the right thing to start with.

"I just wanted to apologize, for that, and for everything else," Jenny said. She was twisting her hands and looking at the floor, in what she hoped was the most submissive position possible. But it didn't seem to work because Serena scoffed and refused to reply.

"We're going to have to live together and I just..." Jenny started again, but Serena interrupted her.

"Look, Nate and I are back together," Serena said, then paused, wanting to see the effect of her words. Jenny was shocked, and it pleased her. "I promised him I'd be nice to you, so I will be for his sake. But don't think we're going to be friends, or that I'm going to forget everything you did. I don't know what you did or said to Nate to make him do everything he's done for you, but I know you, Jenny. You'll reveal your true nature sooner or later and Nate will realise what you really are."

With that she went back to unpacking, dismissing Jenny. The younger girl wanted to defend herself, call Serena on the mistakes she had made in the past, but she bit her tongue and went back to her room. She had at least hoped that Serena would accept her apology, and that the girls could live together in peace, but it had seemed too much to hope for too soon.

A few minutes later, Jenny heard Lily call excitedly for her to come to the dining room, and Jenny walked quickly to see what was happening. A 30 year-old man was standing in the room with a huge black tote bag, and when she took a second look Jenny realised he was Lily's hair stylist.

"Marco's going to do your hair," Lily said smiling. Jenny could feel a smile come onto her face as well. "If you're going to start new," Lily continued, "you're going to need a new look!"

Jenny, knowing the importance of fashion and a good haircut, could only agree. She was excited as the older man took over and started telling her about what kind of look he wanted to give her. Jenny, Lily, Eric and Marco conferred for at least fifteen minutes before agreeing on a layered shoulder-length hairstyle, and the stylist went to work.

It was exactly the distraction Jenny needed, and she had completely forgotten Serena when the young woman walked into the room to see what the fuss was about. Lily, Jenny and Eric were laughing and Marco was shaking his head, chuckling at their antics. When Jenny saw Serena she stopped laughing, and to see the look Serena gave her, she knew she was not pleased with what was happening.

Lily felt the mood in the room shift and smiled at Serena in an attempt to alleviate the tension. "Do you want Marco to do your hair too, Serena?" Lily asked. "He's going to do Eric's as well, you know."

Serena shook her head in response, her lips in a tight line as if she was holding something back. Jenny had never been more grateful for Lily's presence as Serena went back to her room. She could only imagine how things would have gone if the mother hadn't been there.

When Marco was done he showed Jenny her new look in a portable mirror, and she immediately had a flashback to when she was a sophomore, working for Eleanor and kissing Nate on the street. The hairstyle wasn't the same but it looked similar enough. When she looked back on the last few years, it was difficult for her to pinpoint an exact moment when she changed to a lesser version for herself. But that time when Nate lived with them at the loft had certainly changed something in her: she had been tired of people walking all over her, had quit Eleanor's and put on her own fashion show. Of course, Agnes had helped with a lot of that, but Jenny had made her own decisions. Jenny shivered as she thought about the Snowflake Ball and what she had done to Vanessa: she definitely couldn't blame any of that on Agnes.

Later on, everyone sat at the table for a special welcome back dinner for Jenny. It wasn't much, just a few of her favourite foods, but Jenny was grateful for it. However, the tension was palpable, and it was starting to get to Jenny.

"So Dad," she asked, "Where's Dan?" Rufus didn't look at her as he answered.

"He couldn't come," he said.

"Well, where is he? It's Sunday night, it can't be anything too important," Jenny pressed.

"He didn't say," her dad answered, but Jenny could tell something was off. However, before she could ask further questions, Lily changed the subject.

"What about Elliott, couldn't he come?" Lily asked, looking at Eric.

"We had a fight," the young man said, but didn't explain. Jenny looked at him, surprised. Eric hadn't said anything about a fight, and she was a little hurt that he hadn't confided in her.

The rest of the dinner was spent mostly in silence, except for a few other attempts by Lily to start the conversation again. Eventually, even she gave up.

That night, as Jenny lay in bed, there were so many thoughts running around in her head that she couldn't fall asleep. She tossed and turned, thinking about Serena, Eric, her dad, Dan, Lily, and Nate. She couldn't believe he and Serena had gotten back together. Well, she could, but she was surprised because she had thought she had gotten through to Nate when they talked after the masquerade ball. She had also seen Serena's pleasure when she announced their reunion.

No matter how much she turned it around in her head, she knew that the only way things would ever be okay again at the Van der Woodsen-Humphrey residence would be if she gave up Nate. While she completely disagreed with him getting back together with Serena, he was an adult and she couldn't make his decisions for him. But while she could admit that he was still in love with Serena, and not with her, she couldn't give him up as a friend. If she was going to turn her life around, she was going to need as much help as possible, and it seemed her pickings were slim. For some reason, Dan wasn't around, and her father didn't seem to have much faith in her yet. That left Eric, Lily, and Nate. She would take him while she had him, because she was convinced that no matter how good his intentions were, Serena would eventually get between the two of them, and she would lose him again.

As she turned over in her bed one last time, she wondered if she would be in love with Nate Archibald forever, or if she would one day meet someone who would be as kind and understanding to her as he was.


	3. Chapter 3

**A/N: I promise the next one won't take as long. With that said, enjoy!

* * *

**

"I can't do this! What was I thinking?" As soon as Jenny had gotten out of school on her first day, she had called Nate. Her teachers had been all over her, giving her reading assignments and extra credit work to make up for the tests and assignments she had missed. She had spent her lunch hour with her math teacher who had already scheduled five hours of tutoring with her. After school, it had been her English teacher who had held her back. Apparently, the final exam would cover the readings for the entire semester, so Jenny had to read everything she had missed since September. She had thought it wouldn't be so bad, after all, she only had a month and a half to catch up on, and it wasn't like she hadn't gone to school at all during this time. But what she had seen at her school in a month, the teachers at Constance taught in a week, so in the end, there was a lot to do.

Nate laughed at her on the other end of the phone, and it only unnerved Jenny more. "You can't laugh! I have enough work to make the nerdiest nerd sweat, and you promised to help me, so I'm holding you to it!"

"Don't worry." He smiled and shook his head even though she couldn't see it. "I won't let you down. How about I come over after dinner and we can look over everything you have to do and set up some sort of schedule?"

Jenny felt instant relief. All the tension and stress she'd accumulated during the day was dissipated, floating out to the universe, just because Nate had said it would be okay. It frightened her that he had so much power over her emotions, but at the moment, she was mostly grateful. They quickly hung up after that and Eric joined her outside the school.

"Hey!" He gave her a half-smile, a polite smile, and Jenny wondered when they had begun to pretend things were okay between them.

"I thought you would be home already," she said as she started walking toward the Palace. Lily had offered to send a car but it was a beautiful day and Jenny wanted to walk home and take the time to enjoy the familiar Manhattan sights.

"I had a study group, and I walked out and saw you there, so I figured we'd walk home together," her brother said, and Jenny nodded, unable to think of anything else to add.

They were quiet for most of the way home, which made Jenny think that her relationship with Eric was obviously not back to full form. She knew he had things on his mind, but it didn't seem like he wanted to talk to her about it, so she wasn't going to push him. She promised herself that if he hadn't talked to her in two days she would push to try and find out what was going on.

When they got home Serena was sitting in the living room, reading a magazine. She greeted her brother but ignored Jenny, and the younger girl sighed as she walked to her room. She let her books and her purse fall to the floor and she collapsed on her bed.

She closed her eyes and made herself forget about the trying day she was having so far. She thought about the good things she had encountered on her first full day back on the Upper East Side: the waffles her dad made for breakfast, her walk home with Eric, her conversation with Nate. One of the books she had to read for English class even looked interesting. By the end of the mental exercise Jenny felt re-energized, and resolutely got up and put on some music. She cleaned up the mess she had made getting ready in the morning, and made piles of books and papers on her bed according to subject.

She was going to start listing everything she had to get done before midterms when Lily called out that dinner was ready. As the day before, dinner was awkward and Jenny was glad when it was over. Serena had deserted the living room so Jenny took her books and set them on the coffee table, but kept them in piles. The English pile was definitely the highest, but she knew math would be the hardest to go through. Even though she had always done well in this subject, it wasn't very interesting to her so it would be hard to motivate herself to get through it.

Nate arrived at seven thirty, just as Serena was coming down the stairs. Jenny watched them from the living room.

"Nate!" Serena called out, and Nate was surprised to see her there. Serena walked over to him and gave him a hug, which he returned.

"Are you living here again?"

"Well, yes, isn't that why you're here?" She still had a smile upon her face, but it wasn't as bright as when she first saw him.

"No, I came to help Jenny with her school work," Nate answered, and he watched as the smile fell off Serena's face. "But, as long as you're here, I wanted to ask you out for Friday night."

The smile returned to the girl's face, and Jenny rolled her eyes at the evident manipulation. She couldn't believe Nate was falling for it. Jenny let them make plans for Friday before she announced her presence.

"Hi Nate!" Had they been alone she would have given him a hug, but it felt awkward in front of Serena.

"Hey! Ready to get to work?" The smile he gave her made her melt, and she had to force herself not to make googly eyes at him.

She gestured to her books on the coffee table as an answer to his question and he said goodbye to Serena who took her coat and left the apartment.

Nate helped her make a list of everything she had to do, and they started prioritizing her work. Before she knew it, they had made a pretty good schedule. It was intensive, but Jenny felt it was doable. They'd even managed to make her Sundays free to do whatever she wanted.

"Where do your organizational skills come from, Mr. Archibald?" Jenny asked once they were done. They were sitting face to face on the couch, both with a cup of coffee the maid had brought in the middle of their session. There were also cookies on the table, but they had yet to eat one.

"Well, Ms. Humphrey, when you have school, lacrosse, soccer, and your mom makes you go to all kinds of social gatherings, you have to choice but to be organized."

Jenny laughed. "I guess I never had that problem." She got quiet, her eyes fixated on her cup of coffee. The last time she'd had coffee with Nate, she thought she had managed to convince him that dating Serena wasn't good for him. "So... you and Serena, huh?"

He sighed. "I wanted to tell you, but I didn't know if you wanted to hear about it. Plus, I didn't know she was going to be living here."

"Look, if we're really gonna be friends, I want you to know you can talk to me about anything, even Serena. And I promise I won't judge."

He raised an eyebrow.

"I know I said I didn't think she was right for you, but you made your decision and I support you no matter what."

"Thanks." He didn't know what else to say to her. She was being great, and as far as he could tell, she had no ulterior motives. He knew she had feelings for him, but the fact that she was willing to push them aside so they could be friends told him a lot about the kind of person she was. "Has it been okay, her living here?"

"Well, it's a bit early to tell. But she didn't put purple hair dye in my shampoo or anything, so I guess that means it's not a full-out war. You know, less World War II, more Cold War." She said it with a smile but Nate could tell it was hard on her.

"I asked her to be nice to you; I guess she didn't follow through." He hadn't asked a lot of Serena, and he was a little hurt she hadn't stayed true to her word.

"It's okay; I almost prefer it that way. At least I know how she feels about me. I guess it's going to take time." She shrugged her shoulders, and Nate took her hand in his, squeezing it. She sometimes wished that he wasn't so touchy-feely.

"Nate, have you talked to Dan lately?" As soon as she asked, his hand retreated and his eyes averted hers. _Uh oh, not good,_ she thought. "Nate?"

"I just... I don't know how to explain it. I don't want you to take it the wrong way, but after he found out you were coming back, he came to see me." Jenny gulped. "I guess he is still... upset about everything you've done. I just think he needs more time."

"So what, he hates me?"

Nate shook his head. "No, of course not! He's your brother, he loves you. He just... I don't think he trusts that you really want to change."

"Oh." And it was all Jenny said. She and Dan had always been close, had always had each other's backs. She had counted on him being there for her, arguing her case to their father and helping her with her English class.

"Jenny, I'm sorry." Nate didn't know what else to say. He was friends with both of them; although, at the moment, he wasn't very fond of Dan.

"It's fine," she said with a fake smile. "Like you said, he just needs time."

Nate didn't know what else to add, and he could tell that she wanted to be alone, so he started gathering his things. Before he left he made sure to give her a long hug, hoping to convey his compassion with actions rather than with words. But when he left, he knew he hadn't entirely succeeded in making her feel better.

On the ride back to his apartment, his thoughts drifted to Serena. Jenny had said, after the Saints and Sinners party, that Serena had done bad things too, but everyone was always quick to forgive her: Dan certainly had. So why couldn't he forgive his sister, too? The double standard made him angry, and he realised he had been guilty of the same thing. It had taken him a while, but he had realised that Jenny was not the perfect little girl he had dreamed up in his head. She was flawed like everyone else, but it only made him all the more happy to have her in his life.


	4. Chapter 4

**A/N: For those of you who want Serena gone, I'm sorry. She's still here, and will be in the next chapter as well, and in the one after that. And maybe in the one after that, too. But if you hang in tight, I promise I have a plan!**

**A special thank you to my amazing beta -xGuiltyxPleasure-.

* * *

**

Jenny liked Tuesdays.

She didn't know why exactly, but she always woke up in a good mood on Tuesdays. Maybe it was because the week was still young, and you still had a lot of time to have a productive week. And you didn't miss the weekend like you did on Mondays, but instead you started looking forward to the next weekend. Either way, Tuesdays were usually good days for Jenny.

This Tuesday, thought, was a whole other story.

It started with the limo being getting caught in traffic, which almost made her late to first period. First period was Math, and she really needed to show her teacher she was motivated, so she couldn't afford to be late. On top of that, they didn't have time to stop for coffee, and a morning without coffee was never a good morning.

All this was nothing compared to her lunch hour.

The first thing she did when the bell rang was head to the restroom. She hadn't had time to use it all morning, and she really had to go.

After she was done with her business, she got out of the stall only to come face to face with the new Queen of Constance and her minions, who were holding her books hostage.

"Well, if it isn't Jenny Humphrey," said the Queen. Jenny bit her tongue and reminded herself that she didn't want to be that girl anymore, the one who cared about the hierarchy at Constance.

"We were quite surprised to see you back here, after everything that's happened to you!" The tone was of friendly concern, but Jenny knew there was nothing friendly about the new Queen.

"Listen," Jenny said, "I don't want any trouble. I'm just here for classes, and that's it. I don't want my place back; I just want to be left alone."

"I'm sure you do, but just to make sure you don't get any ideas, I thought I would make it clear. You are not welcome to any of our parties, and we don't want to see you on the steps, or anywhere near the steps for that matter. Be careful who you talk to, because if we think you are planning something, you can be sure we're going to retaliate. I'm not weak like you were, and I'm definitely never going to get caught like you did." And just to make sure she got the message, the Queen spilled her coffee down the front of Jenny's shirt, and tossed her books in the wet sink.

As soon as they left, Jenny gathered her books and assessed the damage on her shirt. She was completely soaked, but she mused that it could have been worse: at least the coffee hadn't been scalding hot.

She was trying to wash the large stain when she heard a knock on the door. "Jenny, are you in there?" said Erik.

"Come in," she answered, and as soon as Erik saw her, he raised an eyebrow.

"I saw the Queen leave, and she had that satisfied look on her face, like she just crushed a bug."

"Yeah, well, that was me! Ugh, and I didn't even do anything to her!" She considered washing her shirt with hand soap, but knew it was a waste of time.

She ended up asking Erik to go to her locker to get her gym clothes and her lunch, and they spent the rest of the lunch break in the girl's restroom.

"So, are you going to retaliate?" Erik asked.

"I want to, really badly. I mean, right now, I have about three perfectly good plans that couldn't be traced back to me, but I'm supposed to change and be good and all that, so I'm going to let this one go."

Erik looked at her in surprise. "Seriously? Just like that?"

"I'm trying, Erik. I hate being the good girl, I feel like I'm letting people walk all over me. But if I get sucked into this again, then I might as well buy myself a one-way ticket to Hudson."

"That would suck."

"Would it really?"

"Of course it would! You know I'm glad you're back."

"No offense, but I don't really feel it. There's something wrong with you and Elliott, and you won't confide in me. I mean, I get it, I broke your trust and it takes time to rebuild, but I can't help you if you won't let me!"

Erik sighed. "You're right. It's just that... I doubt there's anything you or anyone can do. Elliott and I have been fighting a lot about college. I want to go to Yale, and he wants to go to Columbia. He wants to stay here but all I want is to leave, to find myself or... something. That's what college is supposed to be, you know?"

Jenny nodded.

"I think we know we're going to break up, we're just not ready to do it yet."

"I'm sorry, Erik."

"It's okay, not a lot of couples make it past high school. I love Elliott, I do, but we just don't want the same things."

The bell interrupted them, and they quickly gathered their things and headed to their respective lockers. Just as she was starting down the hallway to head to her English class, someone tripped her and she fell on her hands and knees, her books spread all around her. She tried to gather them quickly but people kept kicking them in their hurry to get to class on time. By the time the second bell rang, she had succeeded in gathering all of her things, but her right knee hurt and she had a run in her pantyhose. She limped to class, and tried to think of an excuse better than _the Queen tripped me because she's afraid I'm going to take her place_, but thankfully, her teacher didn't make a comment when she entered the classroom and took her seat.

When the bell rang after her last class, she thought for sure it meant the end of her bad day. Her hope was confirmed when she saw Nate waiting for her with a cup of coffee. She jumped in his arms, and he laughed at her.

They had started walking toward the library when she received a Gossip Girl blast showing her and Nate in a tight embrace.

"Don't let it bother you," Nate said, and she decided not to let it.

That was until she got home.

Serena was waiting for her, and she didn't mind letting Jenny know what she thought about the blast. "You sure didn't waste any time, did you? Nate and I haven't even been on a date yet and you're already trying to break us up!"

Jenny tried to defend herself. "I know it looks bad, but I am not trying to steal him from you!" Before she could add anything more, though, Serena cut her off.

"I don't know why he even bothers, Nate knows exactly what a worthless little scheming bitch you are and the only reason he even hangs out with you is because he feels sorry for you."

"Serena, stop this right now!" Lily had just descended the stairs and her eyes were wide as she took in the scene. Jenny was near tears and Serena's hands were shaking from anger. Furious that her mother would take Jenny's side, Serena sighed loudly, grabbed her coat and left the penthouse.

* * *

The only good thing about the blowout was that Serena was absent at dinner, and since she and Erik had made up, it was a more lively affair than the two previous nights. Her father left quickly after to go to the gallery and Jenny and Erik both retired to their rooms to do their homework.

Jenny had been studying intensely for an hour and a half when Lily knocked on her door.

"Come in!" Jenny said, and she laid down her book, grateful for the distraction.

"I thought you could use some cocoa," Lily said, and Jenny smiled. "Can I sit?"She asked, gesturing to the bed.

"Hmmm, sure." Lily got comfortable on the bed and Jenny took a sip of her hot cocoa.

"So, that was quite the conversation between you and Serena," Lily started.

Jenny sighed. "I'm not trying to steal Nate from her," she said.

"Then why would Serena think that you are?"

"Maybe... Maybe because I tried before, last spring. I tried to sabotage Serena and Nate's relationship, because I wanted to be with him. But it didn't work, he still chose Serena, so she shouldn't worry about me! Plus, I learned my lesson. Nate and I are just friends now."

"Have you tried explaining this to her?"

"Of course I did, but she sees me as the enemy."

There was a pause, as if Lily wasn't sure if she should ask her question. "Do you have to hang out with Nate?"

"Other than Erik, he's my only friend. I need him. And he helps me with my school work. I don't know what else I can do to convince her, Lily."

"I think you just need to be patient." Lily smiled comfortingly.

"In case you haven't noticed, patience isn't one of my talents."

Lily laughed and hugged her. "It will be fine, Jenny. Serena will come around."

Over her shoulder, Jenny saw Serena standing there. The withering looks she gave her sent chills down her spine. As Serena walked away, Jenny hugged Lily a bit tighter, trying to find comfort in her step-mother's embrace.

She hated Tuesdays.


	5. Chapter 5

**A.N.: I learned two things with this chapter: 1) I should never, ever make promises, since I obviously suck at keeping them, and 2) There is only room for one muse at a time in my head. But I finally got this chapter written and, no promises, but the next one is coming soon. I have a new beta, starzee, and she's awesome. Now on to the story!**

* * *

Friday came, and it was time for Nate and Serena's date. Even though Jenny tried to forget about it, she couldn't because Serena was using every opportunity she had to remind her about it. She boasted that Nate was taking her to a fancy restaurant and then to the theatre. She went on and on about the new restaurant they were going to try then included Erik in a debate about music theatre versus regular theatre, all in front of Jenny. Jenny found it somewhat petty but didn't say anything as she didn't want to rock an already shaky boat. Needless to say, she was happy when Friday finally came as she wouldn't have to hear Serena talk about it any longer.

As it turned out though, Friday wasn't much better. Jenny had to actually watch as Nate picked Serena up at the penthouse for their date. He was very elegant in a dark suit, but no tie, and was the perfect gentleman as he helped Serena with her coat. She hated herself for spying on them instead of just saying hi but was certain that if Nate saw her, he would see the jealousy written all over her face. That and no doubt Serena would be smug and rub it in her face that she had the guy Jenny wanted. So she hid and observed as Erik wished them a good evening.

"You can come out, Jenny, I know you're there!" he called, after the couple left.

Jenny walked slowly out to the living room, trying not to blush at being caught. "So, what are your plans for tonight?" She asked him absently, hoping he wouldn't question her about hiding and spying.

"Elliott is coming over to hang out. We're going to take advantage of the fact that my mom and Rufus are gone, but we're just going to watch a movie so you're welcome to join us."

"No, it's fine. Well, maybe later. I still have a lot of reading to do." Jenny replied.

Erik nodded. "Okay, but I really don't mind if you join us. You wouldn't be a third wheel."

Jenny thought it was nice of him to say it but knew that even if it wasn't their intention, she would eventually feel like she was intruding on their private time.

"So," Erik started again, "are you okay with Nate and Serena going out?"

Jenny laughed bitterly. "If I say I am you won't believe me."

Erik smile. "No, I won't."

She shrugged her shoulders. "I'm not going to lie and say I'm not jealous, but if Nate's happy, then I can accept it for his sake." She gave him a forced smile before returning to her room. She had a feeling it would be a long evening.

* * *

Nate was silent on the ride back from the theatre. They had decided against going for a drink afterwards and Nate was relieved. The whole date had been awkward and he was more than ready for it to be over. He had promised Serena that he would try to give their relationship another try... but after their date, he doubted it was possible for them to go back to the place they were, before it all started going to hell.

Fortunately, there wasn't much traffic and they arrived in front of her building quickly. The driver opened the door and helped Serena get out then Nate followed. She walked toward the door but abruptly stopped and turned round.

"You don't have to walk me up, it's fine," she said, and smiled.

He nodded. "Okay. Goodnight, then." He couldn't bring himself to give her a real kiss, so he leaned and kissed her cheek instead.

She seemed disappointed but did nothing to rectify the situation. "I had a good time, thanks Nate."

He also couldn't bring himself to say he had had a good time and had a hard time believing she was being truthful. "I'll call you," he said instead.

She gave him a last smile, squeezed his hand and walked off. He watched as some doorman he didn't recognize opened the door for her and when she disappeared inside the elevator he turned round to walk back to the car. The driver opened the door for him but before he could get in, he noticed Jenny walking toward him.

"Hey," she said. He noticed she wasn't dressed like she had been going somewhere important. "I'm sorry; I didn't mean to spy on the end of your date."

He shrugged his shoulders. "It's not like there was much to see." He walked away from the car and the driver shut the door. "What are you doing outside?" He asked curiously.

"I was just taking a walk. I studied for a bit, but I needed to get some air." She replied with a shrug.

"You went for a walk by yourself at this time of night?" He asked and she smiled softly at the obvious concern in his voice.

"It was just a short walk around the block, no big deal." She tried to placate him.

He shook his head disapprovingly. "You shouldn't be out by yourself at all, Jenny. It's dangerous." He warned lightly.

"Well, I guess that means you'll have to take another lap with me then, since I'm not ready to go back in yet." She replied.

He laughed. "Sure, lead the way!"

They started walking slowly, staying close to each other without touching. There was a silence and he could tell she wanted to ask about his date but he wasn't ready to talk about it yet, so he directed the conversation elsewhere. "No parties, tonight?"

She laughed. "Yeah, like I'd be allowed to go. I'm pretty sure Dad paid the doorman to tell him if I go out because he looked at me funny when I left earlier." She sighed. "We don't talk the way we used to. He's so tense around me now, like he's expecting me to... Actually, I don't know what he expects. On top of that, he and Lily are edgy around each other and I think that's because of me. She's been so nice about me being back, and he's... Did you know he hasn't told me once that he's glad I'm back?" He could hear the tinge of pain in her tone and immediately wished he had just talked about his lousy date. He hated seeing her upset.

"Jenny." Nate finally said when nothing else came out. He knew how close she and Rufus had been and he could only imagine how much it hurt to be this cut off from him.

"And every time," her voice started shaking, "every time I bring up Dan he makes excuses. I've sent him a text message every day since I came back and he hasn't written back once. Am I so bad?" She asked and she sounded so small. He turned his head to look at her and saw a tear roll down her face. He stopped, turned toward her then tugged at her arm. She resisted at first then gave in as she walked into his arms. He heard her sobs and tried to soothe her by stroking her hair and offered words of comfort but somewhere inside of him, he knew it was useless. A hug wasn't going to fix what was wrong with her family. All he could really do was be there for her.

"They're right here, but I miss them so much!" She whispered.

He held back his own tears at that. His heart ached for her and he wanted to do something, anything, to fix it, but he knew it wasn't his mess to fix. He also knew that time was probably her strongest ally, but in the meantime, she would still be hurting.

He was vaguely aware of the people walking around them, rushing in the way that New Yorkers do, but still taking the time to stare at them. He rubbed his hand up and down her back and even through his glove and her coat... he could feel how skinny she was, which only added a new layer to his worry.

Eventually she calmed down enough to pull away and he softly wiped the tears away from her face. She wouldn't look him in the eye, but she gave him a small smile. "Thanks."

"Feel better?" He inquired kindly.

She nodded. He took her hand in his and started them walking again. "I wish I could fix this for you," he said after a minute of silence.

"You helped a lot by arranging for me to come back," she said. "If I was still in Hudson I wouldn't have the chance to fix things here. I guess I just need to remember that."

Before he knew it they were back in front of her building. They stopped and faced each other and she tugged his arm. "Thanks again."

"Don't mention it. I'm always here for you, you know that." He reassured her.

She nodded and they hugged goodnight. He watched her as she walked toward the elevators, the same way he had a few minutes earlier with Serena... but this time was different. Something tugged at his heart, but before he could analyze it he turned on his heel and walked to the car.

Halfway back to his apartment, his phone beeped and he fished it out from his pocket. There was a new Gossip Girl post with a video of him and Jenny. He was wiping away the tears on her face, but because the video was taken from fairly far away, it just looked like he was caressing her face instead. He was aware of how it looked and he knew that if Serena wasn't calling him, it was because she had fixed her wrath upon Jenny instead and he sighed. He really hated Gossip Girl. He huffed in annoyance at the fact he couldn't even comfort a friend in need without it becoming a showcase for all to see and he didn't know how to fix it. He could tell Serena it wasn't what it looked like but she would be so upset she wouldn't listen to him. He couldn't say he was sorry he got carried away, got a little closer than maybe a friend should have, because he wasn't. They were still trying to figure out this weird sort of triangle and it didn't help that him and Serena were on uneven footing at the moment, somewhere between friends and more than friends. She must think that he was in the same place with Jenny.

When he walked into his apartment, he sighed with relief. As the door shut behind him he was enveloped by silence and he was extremely glad that he no longer lived with Chuck. The other man would have made fun of him for all the drama, would have enticed him to get drunk to forget about it all and he would have really only made the situation worse, come morning. Since he couldn't do anything about it, he turned off his phone and walked toward the bedroom hoping things wouldn't seem so bleak in the morning.


	6. Chapter 6

**A.N.: Hello? Anyone there? There were no comments on the last chapter, but I can't really blame you guys for being mad at me for taking so long to update, but if you want, I would love to know if anyone still reads this. Enjoy!**

* * *

"Up, get up!"

Jenny cracked her eyes just wide enough to see her big brother standing at the foot of her bed.

"You have five minutes, we need to talk." He said then left her room.

She rubbed her eyes and groaned at the thought the drama from the previous night still hadn't blown over. She and Serena had gone at it for about an hour until Lily and her father arrived. Erik, like the good brother he was, tried to mediate a truce and had been somewhat successful. At least by the time the fight was over, Jenny felt comfortable enough to go back to her room, confident that she wouldn't be smothered in her sleep. However, that hadn't stopped her from twisting and turning in her bed for an hour. She did eventually decide to let it all go and managed to fall asleep, although she still didn't sleep well.

She grabbed her big fluffy pink robe and slippers and grudgingly put them on. She figured that if she was going to be yelled at, she might as well feel somewhat comfortable.

When she got to the dining room, she realized that it wasn't even 8 o'clock and had to stop herself from rolling her eyes. Why on earth had he chosen this time on a Saturday to suddenly talk to her again? She wanted to tell Dan that it was too early, that she didn't want to fight with him, but another part of her was aware that this was the first time he'd contacted her in any way since she got back. And she was determined to take advantage of it.

He at least had the decency to let her get a cup of coffee before starting his lecture.

"I knew it would come to this, when I found out you were coming back. I told Nate he was a fool, but you know he's a good person, Jenny, he wants to believe the best in people."

He scowled when she interrupted him.

"You used to be like that, too." She reminded him.

"Well, at one point I thought I knew you... obviously I was wrong. Ever since you started wanting to be a part of that crowd, you've done nothing but hurt people. You're not my the little sister that I grew up with and love anymore. I don't even recognize you!" He was pacing in the dining room while he spoke. Unconsciously, he seemed to at least be aware that the others were asleep because he was keeping his tone at an acceptable level. Still, she could hear the disappointment radiating in his voice clearly.

"That's not fair! I know I did bad things but I'm trying to get better, to be different, but you won't even give me a chance!" She snapped. She understood that she had done a multitude of things but so had the rest of them, yet somehow they were forgiven. She had even served a jail sentence in Hudson, but clearly that wasn't enough.

"You've said that before, and it wasn't true. I'm sorry, I just can't believe you. Especially, since there have been two Gossip Girl blasts about you and Nate already!"

"Nate and I are friends!" She groaned. This was beginning to sound like a broken record on a loop. No wonder people didn't believe her... when you start to say something so often, it stops sounding true.

"Well, the video from last night didn't look friendly!" Dan replied annoyed and she sighed exasperated.

"Excuse me for being upset that my own family doesn't even want me here! He's my only real friend here aside from Erik!" She exclaimed.

"Don't be a martyr, Jenny." His voice held such contempt that it took her breath away. "It's only a consequence of your own actions."

"I know that and I'm sorry! I don't know what else to do to fix this, but you have to at least let me try!" She pleaded. She loved her brother dearly but he had to get off his high horse.

Her voice had started to shake and she was so tired of fighting, of defending herself, that she just grabbed her coffee and stormed back to her room. She got back into her bed and nestled herself protectively under her covers. She couldn't stop the two tears that ran down her face, but she managed to hold back the rest. She didn't want to cry. If this was going to be her life from now on, she needed to grow a thicker skin. She had been sure that Dan would follow her but moments later she heard the elevator doors open and close. She felt relieved but at the same time, she was disappointed and a little hurt that he hadn't bothered.

Jenny somehow managed to go back to sleep and reluctantly woke up an hour later. She wanted to spend the day in bed, hiding under the covers, but with the amount of school work she had piled up, it would be impossible not to mention irresponsible to ignore it. In the end, she resolved that if she went to the library, she wouldn't have to talk to anybody and she would have an excuse to keep her phone turned off. She never thought that she would be so grateful to spend the day studying.

When she got to the dining room for breakfast her father and Lily were already seated, each reading a section of the paper. She only had time to drink a sip of her coffee before Serena came down and joined them.

"Was that Dan I heard this morning?" her Dad asked her.

She sighed and ran a hand through her hair. It still surprised her that it was so short. "Yeah, he came, he yelled then he left."

Serena snickered, but held back her comment when Lily gave her a warning look. Erik interrupted them when he came in to get his own cup of coffee. He was still half-asleep, and his hair was tousled. He dragged his chair next to his mother's and leaned his head on her shoulder. Lily placed a small kiss on his hair affectionately and smiled before returning her attention to the paper in front of her.

Serena was just about to leave to go back to her room when Rufus cleared his throat. "We're going to have a family dinner tonight," he announced boldly. Jenny was positive he had lost his mind.

"It's Saturday night!" Serena complained. Jenny rolled her eyes at her step sister.

"It's not optional, honey," Lily added. "You can still go out after Dinner."

"If Dan doesn't have to be here, then I don't either," Serena argued.

"Dan will be here, even if I have to go to Brooklyn to pick him up." Rufus replied uncharacteristically firmly. He wasn't one to assert himself often but everyone knew better than to argue with him when he had his mind made up about something.

Serena threw her hands up in resignation before stomping back to her room. Jenny gathered her things quietly and left, quite happy to be out of everyone's way for the day. Halfway to the library she wondered if a family dinner meant Chuck would be there too. She sent a text to Erik to ask him, but unfortunately, he didn't know either and she spent the rest of the day imagining worst case scenarios. It was a miracle she got any work done at all.

* * *

Chuck ended up not showing up at the family dinner after all and only Lily seemed disappointed. Jenny didn't know what her father said to Dan but he was polite all the way through dinner. Everyone made small talk and to an outsider it might seem like a perfectly normal blended family. At closer inspection, it was noticeable that Serena and Dan wouldn't look each other in the eye and Dan wouldn't speak directly to Jenny if he could avoid it. Every once in a while, he would even shoot his father angry looks and even beneath her cool demeanour, Lily's anxiety was palatable as if she was expecting an outburst at any minute, only she didn't know where it would come from.

After dinner was over, everyone scattered and Jenny was left alone in the living room. She was relieved at that though. She'd been tensed for a fight all evening and was now exhausted. Erik had gone to hang out with Elliott and he had once again invited her but she declined. She was surprised when she got a text from Nate, it read: _Heard about family dinner... wanna come over?_ She didn't have to be asked twice and as soon as she got the okay from her dad, she left.

"Hey!" Nate greeted when he opened the door, "Come in!" His smile was dazzling and she couldn't help returning it. She always felt so comfortable and at ease with Nate. It was worth all the aggravation she had to put up with because of their friendship.

The place looked the same as the last time she had been there, only there was more furniture and a few unpacked boxes sitting in a corner in the living room. The TV was on the news channel but was muted. There were cartons of Chinese food sitting on the coffee table.

"You want some?" Nate asked, gesturing to the cartons.

"I just had dinner," Jenny answered politely.

Nate raised an eyebrow in disbelief. "You seem to forget that I've seen you eat before." He said with a crooked, mischievous smile.

She laughed at his comment. "Fine, I guess there's no use in pretending to be a lady around you!" She winked.

The two of them ate and watched the news for a while, occasionally making the odd comment about this or that, but mostly they were just content being with each other in companionable silence. Somehow all the unease and the awkwardness had disappeared during the week and it felt like Jenny never left, like she'd never tried to break him and Serena up, like there were no unrequited feelings on her part. It just felt right.

Not long after they finished eating, there was a knock at the door. Nate sighed and got up to answer it and Jenny felt a sense of foreboding. There were only so many people who would show up at Nate's door at this time on a Saturday night.

"Well, would you look at that..." Jenny heard Chuck snigger as he swaggered in the door. "You are alive after all! I thought we'd go out; hit the clubs, maybe..." He stopped himself abruptly when he saw Jenny sitting on the couch. "Humphrey." It wasn't a greeting, but more of a surprised acknowledgement of her presence, however annoying it may be.

"Chuck," Jenny answered with an awkward nod. She suddenly felt very uncomfortable and she looked to Nate for his reaction but found his expression unreadable. She thought about excusing herself and leaving, but that would mean acknowledging that Chuck made her uneasy and she wasn't ready to admit that yet. The silence dragged on, and the longer it went, the more the ball in Jenny's throat seemed to grow.

"Look, Chuck." Nate finally said breaking the tension. "Jenny and I were just hanging out and I don't really feel like going out."

Thankfully, Chuck didn't press the issue and gracefully excused himself. "Another time, then." He said and Nate nodded. Chuck didn't give Jenny another lookbut put his hand on Nate's shoulder briefly then walked out.

As the door closed behind him, Jenny reminded herself to breathe. Her hands were clammy and she knew they'd be shaking if they hadn't been clamped down on her knees. The atmosphere in the apartment had drastically changed. It felt colder, stuffier and as Nate sat back down next to her on the couch, Jenny looked anywhere but at him. Things had been perfect until Chuck showed up.

Nate cleared his throat. "I'm sorry, I didn't know he was going to drop by."

She forced a smile. "It's fine."

"No, it's not fine. He clearly made you uncomfortable. Jenny, you can't even look at me!" He exclaimed.

She forced herself to meet his eyes. "Really, we're bound to run into each other, it's no big deal." She shrugged hoping he would just talk about something else.

"I think we should talk about this." Nate had somehow managed to put the thought of his best friend taking Jenny's virginity to the back of his mind. And even though the thought that she had willingly given it, horrified him somewhat, being confronted with the sight of both of them together in the same room made him realize that he'd never really talked about it with anyone, not with Chuck or with Jenny, not even with Serena or Blair. Everyone had tried their best not to bring it up and Nate had been much too involved in his own life at that point to argue with that decision.

"No, I really don't think we need to, Nate. It's done, over, I just want to move on and forget it ever happened, if at all possible." She said quietly. At the time, she had just needed someone. It could have been anyone for all she cared. She had never set out to hurt anyone, nor had she exactly intended to have sex that night.

"Maybe I want to understand what happened that night." He replied in a soothing tone. He could never judge her after all.

Jenny drew in shaky breath and ran her hand through her hair. She wanted to tell Nate that there was nothing to understand, that she'd gone over it again and again in her mind and every time she did, it didn't make more sense... that no matter how many times she analyzed it, it didn't change the outcome. She just wanted to move on but if Nate needed to do this, wanted to try to understand what happened that night, wanted to blame himself like she knew he would when they would be done talking about it, then she knew she wasn't strong enough to deny him that closure.

"Fine."She finally agreed. "What do you want to know?"

"Why were you at the penthouse?" Nate asked straight off the bat.

Jenny took a deep breath. It was the one question she didn't want to answer; the one she knew would lead to new questions she really didn't want to broach.

"My Dad had just told me he was sending me to live with Mom in Hudson and I wanted to see you one last time, to say goodbye, or to ask you to help me to convince Dad to let me stay, or... I don't know exactly." It was a lie. She'd cared about him for so long that she had to come express it.

"But I wasn't there." He said darkly.

"No, but Chuck was; and he had just returned from the Empire State Building." She said as if it explained everything and in a way it did.

"And so... you just decided to sleep together?" He asked confused. There was another emotion mixed in there that Jenny didn't completely recognise but she shrugged it off.

Jenny got up and went to the window. She couldn't look at Nate anymore, couldn't bear to see the hurt and the disappointment in his eyes. She could handle that from her family but not him too.

"We just didn't want to be alone." She replied softly.

"Right. So if I'd been there..." Nate began.

"No, Nate!" She turned around to face him. "This isn't your fault. If you'd been there, I probably would have thrown myself at you, too. I was in a bad place." She blurted and instantly wished that she could take it back.

Nate leaned forward and ran a hand down his face. "Did Chuck know... that you and Damien didn't..."

She shook her head. "No, I didn't tell him. I just wanted everyone to think that Damien and I slept together. Look, Nate, it was a mistake, okay? And it's my fault, just as much as it is Chuck's."

"No offense, Jenny, but Chuck knew what he was doing. You didn't." He said. She felt momentarily warmed that he was concerned about her. Then all of a sudden, it became too much for Jenny. "I'm sorry, I can't do this. I have to go."

She walked in front of Nate to grab her purse but he got up and stopped her. "No, don't go. I'm sorry; we don't have to talk about it anymore." He said quickly. He didn't want her to leave, not like this when they were uneasy with each other.

She looked up at him andwas surprised to see there was no condemnation in his eyes, only compassion. "Okay." She finally agreed.

They both sat back down on the couch and quickly decided on a movie. There was still tension in the air and Jenny couldn't help but relive their conversation over and over in her head. She couldn't quite understand how Nate felt about the whole thing... if he'd forgiven her or not, but she didn't want to bring it up again.

After about five minutes, he turned his head to look at her and gave her a small smile. He opened his arm in invitation and she moved to cuddle next to him. With her head on his shoulder, she found she could forget about their conversation more easily. Maybe they'd said all that needed to be said on the matter.

Nate's thoughts were much like Jenny's, only there were so many running around in his head that he had a hard time analyzing them. All he knew was that he was angry. He didn't know who he was angry at or even why, but the anger was there all the same. When he turned to look at Jenny though, he knew without a doubt he wasn't angry at her. Eventually, soon even, he would try to make sense of this, but for now he just wanted to stay in the moment, safe with Jenny on his couch, watching a bad action flick.

By the time she left that night to go home, it was almost as if they Chuck had never showed up. Almost.


	7. Chapter 7

**A.N.: Thanks everyone for being so patient! We are almost at the halfway point with this story, and I promised it will get finished, so stick with me! Special thanks to my beta, starzee. If there are any mistakes in this chapter it's because I wouldn't stop messing with it after she gave it back to me.**

* * *

Jenny met Nate again for a study session the following Monday and he helped her with her math (his forte) and English (so _not _his forte). He wound up helping her so much though, that he didn't have time to do any of his own schoolwork. Tuesday and Wednesday he had to beg off because he was too busy with school and lacrosse practise, so Jenny asked the guidance counsellor to help her find a tutor. Nate felt bad and apologized to her about ten times, but she told him that his studies had to take priorities over hers. He promised, however, that he would still make time to see her just to hang out. Jenny didn't want to feel like she was forcing him to spend time with her as her only friend aside from Erik though, so she didn't call or text him.

She spent the whole week studying and avoiding Serena and the Mean Girls. Serena proved to be easy to avoid since she made up with Blair and the two of them were spending all of their free time together. Serena still hadn't moved back into the Waldorf's penthouse but Jenny was hopeful that she would.

The Mean Girls, however, were harder to avoid. During class they took great pleasure in whispering insults to her or passing notes to each other while giggling and pointing at her. Jenny made sure to arrive just in time for her first class to avoid confrontation and she spent her lunch break off campus or in the library. After school was over, she made sure to walk straight to the limo and waited inside for Erik.

Unfortunately, that Friday, she had to wait in the courtyard after school to meet her new tutor. She had just taken a seat at one of the tables when the Mean Girls arrived.

"Tell me, Little J, are you going to Sarah Barker's birthday party on her parents' yacht?" One of them asked.

"I wasn't invited." Jenny shrugged in the hope she would look like she didn't care.

"That's too bad." Another one cooed. "It's supposed to be the social event of the season!"

"You know, I heard that Erik wasn't invited either. I guess Sarah felt he would be tainted by your stellar reputation. How does it feel to be the reason for the social decline of a Van der Woodsen?" The third one teased.

Jenny was about to answer when the sun that had been streaming over her face was blocked by a tall figure arriving at her side. She turned to look at the person and saw a guy, a very tall guy, with brown hair and green eyes. He was built, probably an athlete, and really was quite handsome. Racking through her mind, Jenny tried to figure out if she had ever seen him before, but couldn't remember.

"Are you Jennifer Humphrey?" He asked, looking her over.

Jenny rose to her feet but she was still quite a bit shorter than him. "Yes." She nodded.

He offered his hand for her to shake. "Nice to meet you, I'm Quinn. Ms. Barrett said you were looking for a tutor?" It sounded like more of a question than a statement so she felt compelled to answer.

When Jenny had asked for a tutor, she never imagined she would get another student and found herself a little embarrassed at the thought. She nodded her head in response.

He turned toward the Mean Girls, who were avidly watching their exchange. "Ladies, if you'll excuse us." He said to them politely but it was plain to hear in his voice that he was not amused by them.

Jenny gathered her books, ready to follow him, but was surprised to see that the girls left instead. If she looked at them closely, she could almost imagine they were...

"They're _scared_ of you," Jenny said to Quinn absently.

He didn't reply but took a seat across the table from Jenny, who then sat back down. "So, I thought we could start on Monday. What subjects do you need help in?" She noticed he changed the subject but decided not to pursue it for the time being. She felt rather intrigued by this mystery guy.

"Hmm, mostly English and Math. I've been doing okay with the others by myself but if I'm stumped on anything else I'll ask." She shrugged. She would rather have been talking to him about any other topic than school.

He nodded, took out his cell phone and she saw him pull up a calendar. "We can start with three days a week, at lunchtime. Does that work for you?" He asked curiously. He was all business.

She nodded again. "How much do you charge?" She asked though she hoped he wouldn't. But Lily had offered to pay for a tutor from the start so whatever he answered would be fine.

"No money. Though, I would appreciate a letter of recommendation from you if you think I did a good job. I want to become a teacher." He smiled and her jaw dropped.

"A high school teacher? Are you crazy?" She asked in disbelief.

He laughed out loud. "Maybe." He conceded. "I just like to teach. I always knew that was what I wanted to do." He smiled and she had to admit he was blessed with a nice smile.

Jenny could empathize with what he said as she herself had always known she wanted to work in fashion. "What subject would you like to teach?" She asked curiously.

"Math or history. I'm not sure yet." He looked down at his phone, then gathered his things and got up. Jenny imitated him as she was more than ready to get out of school herself. "I'm sorry, I have to go. I'll see you Monday at noon in the tutoring center, okay? Bring your lunch." He winked.

They said goodbye and Jenny walked back to the limo. She wasn't excited like the other teenagers around her who were looking forward to the weekend as she still had a lot of work to catch up on, although after the second week of studying intensely she was starting to see the light at the end of the tunnel. With Quinn's help, she was sure to be caught up in two weeks at the most. But even then, she knew school was only a pretext for her lack of social life. Last year, no one would have thrown a party without making sure Jenny could be there first. This year, they were going the extra mile to make sure she wasn't invited. She wasn't enjoying the constant homework she had to do but had to admit it beat sitting around by herself with nothing to do on the weekends.

All this weighed heavily on her mind when she arrived home. She went directly to her room, as she wanted to be alone. She knew she was feeling sorry for herself, but she couldn't help it. She hadn't seen Nate in four days, and hadn't spoken to him in two. Add to that the fact that he was going on another date with Serena that night and Jenny was feeling quite low. She just missed him though she refused to call him. She was tired, fed up of studying constantly and she was exhausted of trying to find ways to repair the relationships with the people around her, especially when it was no use.

She had no idea how long she'd been lying on her bed, staring at the ceiling and contemplating her sad existence when Erik walked in.

"Hey." He said, "It's just you and me for dinner tonight. You want to get some junk food?" He looked at her with concern in his eyes and while a part of her was grateful he was trying to cheer her up, she was mostly annoyed that he felt like he had to.

Jenny sighed but didn't even bother to get up. "I'm not really hungry, and I don't really feel like going out." She said casually.

Erik sat down on the bed next to her and poked her arm. "Come on, Jenny, it'll be fun. It'll get your mind off of things." He pointed out.

She finally sat up and leaned against the headboard. "I'm sorry, Erik, not tonight."

"So, you're just going to stay here, starve, and be miserable?" He asked and she could tell it was bugging him.

"I can if I want to." She replied stubbornly with a shrug.

"You can't keep doing this to yourself, Jenny, it's not healthy! You need to stop hanging out with Nate, waiting for your chance to be with him!" She wouldn't say he was yelling yet, but he was definitely getting there and considering how emotional she was these days, she couldn't stop the tears from building in her eyes.

"Nate's with Serena and I support his decision. We are just friends." She got up off the bed to be on the same level as him.

"Oh, really? What happens when they move in together? Will you still hang out with him at his place? Or what about when they get engaged, will you still be happy for him then?" Erik snapped and she thought he was being particularly cruel.

"Fuck you, Erik! This is my life and if I decide I want Nate to be in it, as my friend, then he will be!" She exclaimed.

Jenny pushed him out of the way and ran to the elevator. As the doors closed, she could see Erik coming toward her through her tears, but he didn't have time to get there before the doors closed. When she got to the lobby, she realized that she couldn't go anywhere since she hadn't grabbed her jacket or her purse before storming out and she huffed in mixed annoyance and despair. Typical.

She settled on one of the couches in the reception area and tried to stop crying, but couldn't seem to quite get there. At least, after a few deep breaths, she managed to bring it down to some sniffling.

"Jenny? What's wrong?" She heard his soft voice ask.

She hated Nate at that moment, hated his compassionate tone, the smell of his cologne as he sat down next to her, his warmth as his hand touched her shoulder. How could he be so warm when he was just coming in from outside, where it was so cold? A handkerchief appeared in front of her eyes and she grabbed it before he could start dabbing at the tears himself. She didn't want to be making a scene but it seemed she couldn't go anywhere to be alone.

His hand stroked large, soothing circles on her back and he gave her time to put herself together. She didn't know what she was going to tell him when she finally got the courage to talk. To make matters worse, Serena showed up at that moment.

"Jenny, are you okay? I heard you and Erik fighting." Serena said and if Jenny didn't know better, she almost sounded like she gave a damn.

Jenny took a deep breath and looked up at Serena standing in front of her. She was wearing a long burgundy dress that fell all the way to the floor. She had swept her long hair back behind her head into a complicated updo and was wearing just enough makeup to enhance her beauty without making it look cheap. When Jenny wore formal dresses, she always felt like she was playing dress-up, but Serena looked like she was born to wear dresses like these, to go to events where you had to wear them. And the same could be said about Nate and tuxes.

Resolutely, Jenny got up and faked a smile. Nate got up too and she gave him back his handkerchief. "I'm fine. I'm just overreacting. I'll go upstairs and we'll make up." She mumbled a little shakily as she was trying to get control of her emotions.

Nate raised an eyebrow. "Are you sure? I mean, I can stay for a while if you want to talk. I can meet Serena at the gala. You don't mind, Serena, right?" He asked a little too eagerly for Jenny's liking. Why did he have to be like this with her? Was it any wonder she couldn't get over him?

Serena shook her head and, God bless her, looked sincere when she answered. "No, of course not."

But Jenny couldn't do that to Nate, and besides, what would she tell him? That Erik didn't think it was good for her to be hanging out with him because she was still in love him? "No, really, I'm fine. You're both all dressed up, you should go." She encouraged. She really did just want him to go.

"Okay." Nate agreed reluctantly, "But I'll have my cell with me if..."

"I won't call you on your date, Nate!" Jenny interrupted. "Go, have a good time." She nudged him towards the door and he nodded reluctantly.

Nate left with Serena, but not before turning around to look at her one more time. She faked another smile, waved, and walked slowly back to the elevator.

Two hours later, Nate found himself looking at his phone for the sixth time, but there were no mixed texts and no missed calls and he made a face at his phone. He'd expected to hear from her.

Serena looked at him compassionately. "I'm sure she's fine." She said to Nate soothingly. She knew they were friends but didn't exactly understand why he cared so much that he was constantly checking his phone.

He felt bad that he wasn't concentrating exclusively on their date, but seeing Jenny like that had worried him. "Are you sure you didn't hear what they fought about?" He asked as he hadn't believed her answer.

"I'm sure." She said with a smile. "Jenny and Erik fight all the time, Nate. They're best friends _and_ siblings. And it won't be the last time, either." She pointed out but he still didn't believe that she hadn't heard their argument. He gathered that it was over him, though, since Jenny seemed to be going out of her way to avoid him.

He sighed. "Yeah, I guess."

They were interrupted by his grandfather. "Nate, I'm glad to see you! And you came with Serena!" He smiled and Nate had to stop himself from rolling his eyes.

"It's nice to see you again, Mr. Van der Bilt!" Serena said as she kissed his cheek.

They exchanged pleasantries for a while but Nate was only half-listening. Everyone they'd met that night had told them how happy they were to see Nate and Serena there together. He lost count of how many people told them they looked good together, or who told them they were meant to be from childhood. They seemed to have forgotten the fact that two years ago, they all thought he was meant to be with Blair.

He had to admit, however, that he was having a much nicer time than on their first date the week before. When it was like this, no scams, no secrets, he could see himself being happy with Serena for a long time. But the problem was that nothing ever stayed simple for long. Eventually, someone or something would come between them and the shaky trust they kept trying to rebuild would waver. But Nate had seen too many divorces, too many breakups because people just weren't willing to work at the relationship when things got tough, and he didn't want to be that guy either.


	8. Chapter 8

**A.N.: Thanks to my beta, starzee. All mistakes are mine, because she's amazing. Get well soon!**

* * *

Two weeks later, Jenny was finally caught up with her school work.

Quinn had been a huge help in getting her up to speed and she was very grateful to him. She could easily say she had never met anyone like him before. He was a complete nerd, but he also played on the lacrosse team. He came from an upper class family, but he wanted to teach in public high schools after he'd gotten his degree. He didn't read Gossip Girl, but he seemed to know everyone at school and everyone seemed to know him. The teachers loved him and the other students respected him. Jenny didn't know how he did it, but he somehow got the Mean Girls to stop harassing her. He denied any involvement in the matter, but she knew it was no coincidence that the day he started tutoring her, the pranks and the name calling stopped.

He also turned out to be a great listener. On their first session, Quinn said it was bad for digestion to eat while studying, so they took fifteen minutes to eat their lunch and get to know each other before starting. He asked her why she had just come back to Constance in the middle of the semester and she explained most of the story to him. She left out a few details of the story, like the fact that she slept with Chuck, but she told him all about trying to fix the relationships she destroyed before she left and he surprised her by telling her that he admired her for facing the consequences of her actions. There was something there, something more behind his words, but before she had a chance to question him he had changed the subject and started their tutoring session.

Nate had midterms during those weeks, so they barely saw each other. He still went on dates with Serena and told Jenny that they were slowly getting back to where they used to be before all the drama with Carter and her father. Jenny was happy for him, or at least as happy as you could be for the man you love who is in love with someone else. However, every time they spoke, every time they saw each other, Jenny felt their connection getting stronger and stronger. It made it harder for her to ignore her feelings for Nate, but she wanted so badly to be there for him, to be a good friend to repay him for the support he had shown her, that she managed every time to put her love back in a little box that she shoved at the back of her mind. It was always there and she always felt it there, but she managed to convince herself that if she didn't think about it, it would eventually melt away on its own.

When she showed up at his apartment that night, it was in both their intentions to study. However, after only half an hour they had both had enough of studying. They had studied so much in the past two weeks that they were completely fed up and burned out and they both agreed they deserved a night off. So they set their books aside and started an intense Wii® tennis tournament.

It felt good to just let go of their troubles and have some fun. For a few minutes, Jenny completely forgot about all the complications in her life and Nate laughed heartily for the first time in what felt like forever. He felt like he was finally getting back to being himself. He had a good feeling about his life at the moment: spending time with Jenny, going out with Serena, applying himself at school and at lacrosse practise... He had found the balance he always wanted and it felt good.

They got so engrossed in their tournament that Jenny completely forgot that there was a coffee table in front of her and that there were two cups of coffee on it. How she managed to spill _both_ mugs of coffee on herself and on Nate she would never know, but both their shirts were soaked. They laughed for a good long while until Jenny realized that she was wearing a new shirt that she liked very much. She started getting upset but Nate told her he knew a magic trick to get out coffee stains, so he gave her a shirt to wear while he soaked hers.

The water was running in the bathroom while Jenny made another pot of coffee to replace the one she spilled. There was a knock on the door and Jenny called out to Nate, but he didn't seem to hear her. After the second knock, Jenny went to open the door herself. She was surprised to find Serena there and, judging by her expression, Serena wasn't expecting her to be there either.

"Oh." Serena said as she stared at Jenny wearing Nate's shirt. "I'm interrupting something. I should have called first." Serena muttered.

Just as Jenny was about to answer her, Nate came in the living room, shirtless.

"Hey Jenny, I think you're wearing my last clean..." He stopped when he saw Serena.

"Oh my God!" Serena exclaimed before she was spun on her heels and hurried back to the elevator.

Jenny looked at Nate who was standing there, befuddled. He didn't make a move to reach Serena, so Jenny herself started running down the hall to catch up to her.

"Serena, wait..." Jenny pleaded.

"No, Jenny, look, it's fine, I shouldn't have come, I..." Serena blurted before being cut off.

The elevator doors opened and Serena started to walk in but Jenny grabbed her by the arm.

"Please, Serena, it's not what it looks like. We were playing video games and I spilled coffee all over our shirts. Please, Serena, you know what a klutz I can be!" Jenny explained.

Jenny wanted desperately for Serena to believe her, to not be the reason for their break up once again, and that must have shown on her face because Serena let the elevator doors close behind her. Nate came walking up to them and Serena looked at him inquisitively.

"It's true, it was completely innocent." He finally said though he was a little annoyed that Serena didn't trust him.

Serena seemed to believe them and Jenny sighed in relief.

She walked back to the apartment and they both followed her. Jenny grabbed her coat and her purse.

"I'm going to let you two talk." Jenny said before turning to leave.

"No, Jenny, I didn't know you were here. I didn't mean to intrude on your time with Nate." Serena said, surprising Jenny with her civility.

"That's okay." Jenny shrugged. "I was losing anyways. You're letting me save face." She offered a small smile in the hopes her feelings wouldn't show.

She waved awkwardly and closed the door behind her when she left. Nate and Serena were left staring at each other in the living room.

"Hmmm, I'm going to get dressed." Nate declared when he realized he still hadn't put on a shirt.

He found a somewhat clean one and walked back to the living room. Serena was sitting on the couch and he noticed two things: first, Jenny had wiped clean the spilled coffee on the floor and second, that Serena was wearing a grey trench coat that reached mid-thigh and red high-heels. His mind went into overdrive, wondering what she was wearing underneath her coat and while he was the one who wanted to take things slow, he was pretty sure he was not going to be able to resist her if she decided to try to take him to bed.

When he looked up at her face again, though, he realized it was entirely too grave for a seduction.

"Serena, what's going on?" He asked her half curiously while maintaining and edge of caution.

"I came here to seduce you." She gave him a self-derisive laugh. "We were always great in that department and I wanted that connection with you again. We're back together and I'm glad we are, but it still feels like you're keeping me at arm's length, like you don't trust me still. And you and Jenny are so close, I can't help but be jealous, you know? It seems so easy with you two, and this is so hard..." She trailed off, as if she wasn't sure how to continue.

"What are you saying?" Nate asked in disbelief. Was this really happening yet again?

"I'm saying it shouldn't be this hard, Nate! We tried and I'm glad we did, but I can't do this anymore. I'm sorry." She got up and started walking away.

"Wait a minute! Serena, you said you'd be patient! You know trust takes time to rebuild!" Nate exclaimed though he could feel his anger building. It was typical Serena, bailing at the first sign of trouble.

She looked at him and smiled sadly. "It didn't take you that long with Jenny, now did it?" She said to him and he was furious.

He was outraged yet he couldn't find anything to say to that, so he watched her walk away. He let her leave without a real fight.

He sat back down on the couch, still in shock. On the television, the tennis tournament he had started with Jenny was still paused. He was confused and hurt. He thought he had reached some balance in his life, but he had been wrong obviously. While he was convinced things with Serena were progressing nicely, she thought they were stalling. His hurt quickly turned back to anger. He had asked Serena for time and she told him she was ready to give it to him. But she hadn't been patient enough to wait for him and that told him, more than anything, that she wasn't as in love with him as he wanted her to be. He knew that, in the end, it was probably better this way but he couldn't help but be resentful that he had fallen for her act. Again.

He grabbed his phone, ready to text Jenny, but he couldn't figure out what to write. He knew she'd call him back and he wasn't ready to talk about it yet. He wondered for a second if telling her about his break-up would give her hope that they could be together, but she had told him time and time again that she only wanted to be friends, so he dismissed the idea. Jenny knew he didn't feel that way about her anymore, and she would never try to seduce him or make him fall in love with her again. It felt as if he were mourning his potential relationship with Jenny while grieving for his dead romance with Serena.

He looked at the time and decided it was late enough to go to bed. He still had school in the morning and he resolved that even though his personal life was falling apart, he would make sure his school work didn't suffer. He was turning over a new leaf, one in which he wasn't a slave to his love life. He felt good about his decision and fell asleep right away, but not before making sure he had gotten the coffee stain out of Jenny's shirt.


	9. Chapter 9

**A.N.: What's this, two chapters in one week? Believe it folks! You'll have to wait until next week for chapter 10, though. Thanks again to my beta, starzee!**

* * *

When Nate woke up the morning after, his first thought was _Serena and I broke up again_ then he sighed in annoyance_._ He considered what a fool he was for agreeing to give her a second chance over breakfast and he contemplated his appalling choice in women during his ride to school. Over lunch, he wondered why anyone would ever willingly put themselves in the position to have their heart broken. He looked at all the couples around him, some looked blissfully happy, some looked so comfortable around each other they didn't have to act happy: they just were. He wanted to tell them what a huge mistake they were making and that really, they were only moments away from having their hearts broken. But of course, he didn't.

He skipped lacrosse practise after class because there was no way he could concentrate on something so trivial with his head all over the place over Serena. His lunch weighed heavily in his stomach as if it were the breakup he was digesting instead of his ham sandwich. He started to wander the streets; his head hurt from all the thoughts running around in circles. He felt stupid, mostly, for letting Serena con him into giving their relationship another try. After a few hours, though, he knew for certain he was not heartbroken enough to swear off love forever. There was always a part of him that believed in the power of love, as clichéd as it might sound, no matter how cynical everyone around him was. It was obvious that he wasn't completely in love with Serena and that eased his mind a little.

Before he knew it, he'd made his way over to Jenny's building. He wondered then why he thought of it as Jenny's building and not Serena's but shook the thought away. It was past dinnertime already, but he hadn't eaten yet as he'd been too caught up in his reverie. He walked up and down the street for a few minutes, contemplating going in, when he realized Vanya was at the door. He hurried over to the man and asked him if Serena was in. When he learned that she wasn't, he walked up to the elevators and pressed the button.

When the doors to the penthouse opened, Nate spotted Jenny sitting in the living room with a book. He admired her for her dedication to her school work. He had never had that much discipline when he was in high school and she seemed to really be making an effort which kind of made him remember again why he was pissed off with Dan.

The smile she gave him when she realized he was there made him feel better and confirmed his decision to seek her out for comfort.

"I brought back your shirt." He said instead of a greeting. He took the shirt out of his bag and handed it to her when she walked over to him.

"You got the stain out!" She exclaimed, amazed, as she examined the garment. It made Nate glad that he'd at least made her happy.

He answered with a nod, but didn't mimic her excitement.

"Nate, what's wrong?" She asked and he sighed. Obviously, he hadn't been doing a very good job of hiding what he was feeling. He didn't even know he was doing it, as it was more of a habit than a conscious effort to conceal his emotions from Jenny. He knew better, however, knew he didn't have to put up a front for her.

He exhaled loudly. "Serena and I broke up."

She reached her arms around his neck and hugged him. He gladly took the offered comfort.

"I'm sorry, Nate." She said sincerely as she pulled away from him. "Wanna get out of here?" She suggested, concerned.

He nodded his answer, not trusting his voice right then. She yelled out to her father where she was going and then they left in the elevator. Once they were outside, he let her pull him in one direction, not really caring where they were going. They walked silently for a long time and Nate found that it was different being silent with someone than being silent alone. He didn't have to talk, but he knew that if he wanted to, there was someone to listen and that thought really helped him. He knew he would always have a friend in Jenny.

He was grateful that his thoughts had given him some reprieve. His mind was blank as he concentrated on the sound of Jenny's heels on the sidewalk, the warmth of her body by his side and the way the light from the posts and the coming cars caught in her hair as it flowed in the wind. Every once in a while, a gush of wind would blow her scent strongly his way, but not in an unpleasant way; it was like nature was reminding him that she was there for him. And he particularly liked her perfume much to his surprise. It was just so... her.

He didn't know how long they'd been walking, but it had been quite a while when she gestured to a coffee shop across the street. "I'm kind of cold, mind if we go in for a few minutes?" She asked him softly and he agreed.

Once inside, he got her a coffee and got one for himself along with some soup and a sandwich. As they ate, Jenny filled him in on her day, her progress at school and how mysterious it was that the Mean Girls were leaving her alone. She was sure it was thanks to Quinn, but didn't have anything concrete to support her decision.

Then, just as he was finishing his sandwich, Quinn walked in the door of the coffee shop. Jenny's eyes lit up and she waved over to him right away. Nate wasn't surprised when she introduced them because there were very few people she spoke of with the kind of fondness in which she had Quinn. Nate saw himself in Quinn right away, the boy-next-door looks, the athlete build, but Quinn was awkward where Nate had been more confident.

Jenny invited him to sit with them and while a part of Nate wanted to leave, a bigger part wanted to get to know this guy who had become so important to Jenny. They made pleasantries at first, asking each other what they were doing out during a weeknight, impressed at the chances of running into each other in a city so vast. It turned out that Quinn's mother volunteered at Nate's mother's foundation, so they expanded on that a little. However, Nate wasn't in a very good mood and couldn't find the energy to make small talk for very long. Therefore, every subject came to an end quickly, and they were left with an awkward silence.

"So, we got the assignments for the senior class play." Quinn said, looking directly at Jenny.

She nodded. "Yeah, I know. What did you get?" She asked curiously.

"I'm Mercutio, in Romeo and Juliet." He replied.

She laughed. "That's so fitting! I'm sure you'll be great." She praised him and Nate cocked an eyebrow at her unwittingly.

"What did you get?" Nate asked, turning to look at Jenny.

"I'm in charge of the costumes." She smiled widely. She was really happy to have been given the opportunity.

"For which play?" Nate asked.

Jenny looked down, suddenly seeming very shy. "All of them." She answered quietly.

"All of them?" Quinn exclaimed. "But there are three!" He said in disbelief.

"Four, actually." She corrected him. "But I'm not making all the costumes, I'm just helping them choose, design some of them and make sure they're accurate and stuff like that. The headmistress knows I'm good with fashion and that I have some . Besides, it'll be a great thing to put on my résumé for design school." She pointed out.

"Yeah, no kidding," Quinn said, impressed with a smile on his face.

"That's really great." Nate added as enthusiastically as he could as he was happy for her. "Congratulations Jenny." He grinned at her.

She blushed. "Thanks."

There was another silence and Nate was hit with a sudden realization: Jenny and Quinn could be trying to build something and he was getting in the way. The thought caught in his throat at first, but he wanted Jenny to be happy so much that he got up, despite not wanting to leave her. "I have to get home. Quinn, you can make sure Jenny gets home okay, right?" He asked and he hoped his tone didn't convey his pang of mild jealousy.

Quinn nodded.

"You're leaving already?" Jenny asked, obviously saddened.

Nate nodded. She didn't need him around to protect her or cloud her feelings. She had a shot at a great relationship with a reliable, steady guy and if Nate kept hanging around, reminding her of what might have been between them, then it would never happen. He wasn't saying he would stop seeing her completely, but he definitely needed to take a step back. "I'm tired, and I have an early class tomorrow. Good night, you two." He forced a smile then took off.

As the door closed behind Nate, he saw them clearly through the large bay window. Jenny laughed at something Quinn said, then leaned back in her chair and ran a hand through her hair in a nervous way... the way she used to do with him. And then he walked away.


	10. Chapter 10

**A.N.: The angst continues! If there are any mistakes in this chapter, it's because I wouldn't stop fiddling with it after my beta gave it back to me. Lots of NJ in this one, enjoy!**

* * *

When Jenny got out of school that day she was surprised to see Chuck waiting out front for her next to his limo. She walked directly to him then went inside when he opened the door for her.

"What's going on, Chuck?" Her first thought had been that something bad had happened to Lily, but then she realized that he didn't look sad but rather embarrassed.

"I don't mean to sound like a jealous girlfriend, but what is going on with Nate?" he asked hesitantly.

Jenny was confused. "Nothing that I know of. Why?" She cocked an eyebrow at him.

"Because I haven't seen him since I was at his place that time you were there and he hasn't been returning my calls," Chuck replied honestly.

Jenny was silent for a moment, trying to think of something to say.

Chuck started again when she didn't answer. "Look, I don't know what you told him, but I want you to know I'm sorry for what happened between us." He actually sounded sincere.

"No, Nate doesn't blame you for that. I told him it wasn't your fault, it just happened; I made the decision. We don't really talk about you." She shrugged.

"Well, either way, I never apologized, and..."

Jenny interrupted him. "Don't apologize. Frankly, it's condescending and patronizing. I knew what I was doing. I was at my lowest; I was self-destructing as much as I possibly could and you got caught in the crossfire. If I had thought for one second that it would ruin things between you and Blair, I never would have done it," she confessed and Chuck was surprised.

"I really thought Blair and I were over, you know," he said softly.

"I know." Jenny nodded as she laid a hand on his arm. "I'll talk to Nate again. I don't know why he's acting like this. He just broke up with Serena; he needs his friends right now," she said and he smiled at her.

* * *

Chuck dropped her off at home and then Jenny tried to concentrate on her homework. That was proving to be difficult as she kept thinking about what Chuck had said and how she had practically ruined every friendship Nate had. If she wanted to be a different person, this wasn't the way to do it. What made her really upset, however, was that Nate was letting her alienate everyone from his life. She didn't see that as a good thing for him or for her. The last thing she wanted was Blair to banish her again.

The only thing that stopped her from going to confront him right away was that she knew he had lacrosse practise after school. So she waited until after dinner to go to his apartment.

As soon as he opened the door, she unleashed on him. "What do you think you're doing?" she chastised him.

Nate was confused and tired and he wasn't in any mood for any drama. "What are you talking about, Jenny?" He sighed and went back to the living room, letting her shut the door behind her.

"Chuck says you guys haven't spoken in weeks. When was the last time you talked to Dan or Blair?" Jenny asked him curiously as she tried to refrain from being angry at him.

Nate ran a hand through his hair in exasperation. "I decide whether I want to talk to them or not, Jenny and right now they're not my favourite people," he pointed out.

"Can't you see what you're doing? I'm the reason you're not friends with them anymore! Nate, you've been friends with Blair and Chuck forever, you can't just end a friendship like that because of me!"

"Why not? Maybe I just realized they're not the kind of people I want in my life," he countered.

"I can't do this, Nate; I can't be the person who destroys your life-long friendships!" She started crying. "I don't want to be that person! Please!" she begged.

Nate took her in his arms and held her tight. He could never resist her when she was crying. "Shh, it's okay, I'll fix it. Jenny, I'll fix it!" he told her in a soft, soothing voice.

Slowly she started to calm down. He pulled away and wiped the tears from her eyes with the pads of his thumbs.

"God, I'm such a drama queen." She laughed in self-derision.

"You're allowed to be upset every once in a while," Nate replied compassionately before sitting down on the couch. She followed. "But like I said, I don't know if they're the kind of people I want in my life right now," he continued in a softer tone.

"You've had plenty of time to realize the kind of people they are, Nate. They have their flaws but they've always had your back. They're loyal to you and friends like that are hard to find," she said with conviction.

"Alright, maybe you're right," Nate conceded while he suppressed an eye roll. "I'll talk to them." How did she get him to do whatever she said?

The conversation moved on to more pleasant things and finally Nate invited Jenny to stay and watch a movie. She ended up falling asleep and when she woke up the movie was over and Nate was asleep as well at the other end of the couch.

"Crap," she muttered as she looked at the time. Nate stirred and opened his eyes. "I'm in so much trouble!" she exclaimed.

She called her father immediately as she didn't want to rock the boat. "Dad, I'm so sorry! I fell asleep and lost track of time," she apologized as soon as he answered.

"It's alright, Jenny," he said. She was surprised he wasn't yelling at her, but he had been giving her more and more leeway recently. "But if I had known you weren't home I would have sent the driver to get you. We dismissed him for the night and I don't like the idea of you taking a cab alone at this hour." He sighed.

Jenny thought for a moment. "Well, I could spend the night here and then you could send the driver in the morning?" She looked inquisitively at Nate and he nodded.

"Yes, I suppose that could work," her father answered.

Jenny hung up and saw Nate rubbing at his left shoulder and his neck. "What's wrong with it?" she asked pointing to his shoulder.

"I think I pulled something during practise. The coach told me to go to the clinic to get it checked out but I didn't go. I'll just put some ointment on it and it'll be fine in the morning."He shrugged then grimaced at the sharp pain.

"Well, go get it and I'll help you," she ordered in a definitive tone, hoping he wouldn't argue with her and he didn't.

He came back, handed her the ointment and took off his shirt. He sat next to her on the couch and turned so she had access to his back.

Jenny took a good amount of the balm and ran it in between her hands, warming it up. Her small hands felt good on his shoulder as she rubbed it in. He could feel her body heat behind him and he was hit with a flashback of kissing her in the street. He remembered how perfectly she fit in his arms and how soft and pliant her lips had been. He felt himself getting worked up and got up before it got out of hand.

"That's great, thanks," he said awkwardly as he took the bottle from the couch. Jenny's hands were still in the air, surprised by his sudden movement.

"Uh, sure, no problem. I'll take the couch; you need to sleep in a bed tonight," she offered.

Nate shook his head violently then stopped when he felt the pain run down his shoulder. "No, you take the bed; I'll be fine," he replied with more conviction than he really felt.

Jenny got up defiantly. "No, you're hurt. If you sleep on the couch, you'll make it worse."

"My mother would kill me if she knew I let a woman sleep on the couch." He smirked at her.

Jenny sighed in defeat. "Fine, then we'll both sleep in the bed. It's not like we haven't done it before."

The only problem was that Nate had been too preoccupied by Serena those other times to care that Jenny was sleeping next to him. Now that there were no distractions, he knew that it would be harder to keep his hands to himself. But Nate had no choice. Short of taking her home in a cab and then driving back home, there were no other solutions. Besides, he told himself, he was tired enough that it wouldn't matter if Jessica Alba were to lie in bed next to him.

He knew he was wrong when he saw her come out of the bathroom wearing that blue shirt of his that she loved so much. His eyes went directly to her long legs and he had to consciously remember to breathe.

Nate grabbed a blanket and lay on top of the covers. Jenny was disappointed that she didn't get to feel him lying next to her but she knew Nate would always be a gentleman.

"So, how's Quinn?" Nate asked absently. He hoped that bringing up her potential boyfriend would remind his body that he and Jenny were just friends.

"He's fine, busy. He's been helping me study for finals and I've been helping him learn his lines for the play even though it's not until next semester. He's really nervous about it, it's kind of cute," she replied tiredly.

It was the cold shower Nate needed. He wished her goodnight and turned to face away from her. It still took him longer to fall asleep than it should have, considering how tired he was.

* * *

Jenny practically jumped out of the limo as soon as it stopped in front of her building. She had forty-five minutes to eat breakfast and get ready for school. When the elevator took forever to arrive, she even contemplated taking the stairs.

She had her coat off and was going to take her shirt off when she noticed Dan was in her bed. She coughed loudly until he stirred.

"What are you doing here?" she asked in an amused voice. He looked like he hadn't slept more than two hours.

Dan slowly sat up in the bed and wiped the sleep from his eyes. They remained so small however that Jenny knew he was mostly unsuccessful. "Serena and I were up late talking and I didn't walk to take the subway back to Brooklyn. I saw you weren't coming home so I crashed here. Where were you?" he asked casually.

Jenny shook her head. "Nuh uh, don't try try to change the subject! You and Serena again, huh?" She tried not to sound judgemental, but it was typical for the both of them to gravitate towards each other when they were single. She had to seriously fight rolling her eyes. She didn't understand the fascination with Serena when she was so fickle.

"I don't know, we were just talking. But... maybe. I don't know," he muttered.

Jenny rolled her eyes at his indecision. She couldn't help it. Dan had never been good at making decisions for himself, especially regarding Serena.

"I need to get ready, so you need to go," she finally said.

Dan got up and slowly walked to the door. "You know, Serena made me realize what a jerk I've been to you. I'm sorry," he said softly.

Jenny was surprised that Serena had spoken for her, but then again she had seemed to warm up to her over the past few weeks. Was it possible that her family could go back to accepting her? Her father was already trusting her more and more and Dan seemed ready to give her another chance. After all this time, Jenny finally had hope that everything would be right again.

"I missed you, Dan," she said as a response. She couldn't say she forgave him completely for letting her down, but she knew with time it would take care of itself.

"I missed you, too." He smiled and waved before leaving to let her get ready.

When she looked at her alarm clock she realized she had only twenty minutes left before leaving for school. But she was in such a good mood for once that it didn't matter.


	11. Chapter 11

**A.N.: Here is the next chapter, thanks to all of you who are sticking with me! And thanks to my amazing beta, starzee!**

* * *

Jenny felt a great sense of accomplishment when she handed in her last exam in December. She thought she had done well in all of them; she had even finished her Math exam half an hour early. She was proud of herself for a change. Dan had helped her with her English and their relationship was back to normal. It wasn't unusual anymore for Dan, Serena, Erik, Jenny, Lily and Rufus to all have dinner together on weeknights. Serena had opted not to move back in with Blair, instead deciding to stay in Chuck's old room. Since she and Nate had broken up, Serena and Jenny were getting along more and more. Jenny could tell Serena was still wary of her though, but she had hope that time would take care of that.

Jenny and Nate continued to hang out but he would cancel on her every once in a while. She knew he had started hanging out with Dan again and he had started talking to Blair again too. But sometimes he would make up excuses not to hang out with Jenny and she didn't understand why as he wasn't the type to suddenly cancel plans. She thought maybe he didn't want to give her the impression that they would end up in a relationship or that he was falling for her, but she knew that would never happen. Her heart kept hoping, however, but her head reasoned that their moment had passed and that they were only ever meant to be friends. It always stung when she came to that realization but she was glad to have Nate in her life and if they would never be together, she was glad she could count on him to be there for her anytime she needed him as her friend, just as he could count on her.

She also started hanging out with Quinn outside of school. She introduced him to Erik and they all got along very well. They all went to the movies together with Elliott and Jenny was glad she didn't have to feel like a third wheel anymore. The thought occurred to her once that it looked an awful lot like a double date, but Quinn never made a move and Jenny was convinced he only saw her as a friend. That was a relief to her since she couldn't see herself getting into a relationship with anyone that wasn't Nate.

After dinner on the day of her last exam, Jenny walked in to Serena's bedroom with a large wrapped box as she was getting ready to go to a Christmas party for the top executives of Bass Industries and their families at the Empire Hotel. Lily had invited Jenny to come along but the young girl had been unsure about whether she was wanted there or not. She and Chuck had seemed to come to an understanding but if Blair was going to be there then it would certainly end up in drama. And she had resolved to avoid drama.

Serena saw Jenny's reflection in the mirror as she was putting on her makeup. "Hey, Jenny!" She smiled. Jenny was glad for the improvement in their relationship.

"I thought I'd give you your Christmas present early," Jenny declared as she handed Serena the box.

Serena looked at her, curious but obviously happy. "I love presents!"

She took the box from Jenny and put it on the bed. She undid the bow that held the present together and threw it on the floor. She gasped as she lifted the lid and saw the beautiful dress inside. It was a full-length, strapless, empire-waist blue and gold gown with lace at the edges and sequins in intricate designs all over.

"Jenny," she whispered in awe, "it's amazing. Did you make this?" she asked in disbelief.

Jenny nodded. "I thought you could wear it tonight, if you wanted to. I know it's not very Christmas-y, but..." Jenny trailed off nervously.

Serena shook her head violently. "No, it's much too beautiful for tonight. I'll wear it where everyone will see it, like a red-carpet event or something." She got up, laid the dress on the bed and hugged Jenny. "Thank you, I love it. It must have taken you forever to do. I think it's the most beautiful thing I've ever owned," she exclaimed and Jenny smiled awkwardly.

Jenny shrugged, embarrassed at the praise. "I didn't know what to get you, so I thought I'd make you something."

"How did you find the time to make this?" Serena asked as she took the dress and hung it on her closet door surveying it all the while.

Jenny sat on the bed as she watched Serena continue getting ready. "Just a couple of hours at a time. I hadn't made anything in a long time; it felt nice to get back into it."

"You should come to the party tonight," Serena declared. She had that look in her eyes that Jenny knew meant she wouldn't take no for an answer.

"I don't think so. I won't really know anyone there." Jenny started picking at her fingernails.

"That's not true, we're all going. And if I can get Nate to go too, then you'll know one more person there. If you ask him to be your date he won't have a choice." She winked. Jenny didn't really understand why Serena would be pushing Nate on her like that but didn't dwell on the thought.

"Maybe he's already got something planned with someone else," Jenny tried as a last attempt to get out of it.

"No, I talked to him today. He's just being lazy. Come on, Jenny, when was the last time you got dressed up and went to a party? You know it will be fun, and Blair won't even be there," Serena promised.

Jenny felt her last defences crumble.

* * *

It took only one phone call from Jenny to Nate to get him to agree to be her date to the party. She had to admit she was excited as she got dressed and did her makeup. It had been a long time since she went to a party and Erik was glad that he wouldn't be the only person his age there.

The reception hall to the Empire was beautifully decorated and Jenny was so distracted by them that she nearly ran right into Quinn.

"Fancy meeting you here," he said with a grin. Jenny found herself smiling back instantly at her friend.

"What are you doing here?" She admired him in his suit. He looked quite dapper wearing a two-button black suit with a white shirt and a red tie.

"My father works for Bass Industries," he said.

"How did I not know that?" Jenny asked, surprised.

He shrugged. "It never really came up."

Jenny looked around her and realized her family had gone ahead into the room and had scattered. She spotted Nate at the bar with Dan. Serena was walking towards them and Jenny had a momentary moment of panic that perhaps Serena and Dan hadn't told Nate they were seeing each other again. "I'm sorry," she said, turning her attention back to Quinn, "but I should go say hi to my date. I'll catch you later?" she asked.

Quinn looked saddened. "Sure, no problem. Save me a dance?" he asked hopefully.

She answered him with a smile and took off quickly towards the bar. When she arrived, however, the three of them were speaking like the old friends they were.

"There you are!" Nate exclaimed as when she arrived next to him. "Wow, Jenny, you look amazing!" He grinned.

Jenny blushed.

"You do look great, Jenny," Dan added. She was kind of glad Dan had said something because she had to stop blushing.

Jenny cleared her throat. "Thanks." She looked at Serena who shook her head almost imperceptibly. So they hadn't told Nate.

They made chitchat for a few minutes before Chuck joined their little group. He was soon taken away by his business manager, however, and a slow song came on.

"You want to dance?" Nate asked, looking at Jenny. His smile made it impossible for her to say no.

Nate hadn't been able to resist the opportunity to have her in his arms, even if it was only for a few minutes. They danced well together, always had, and he marvelled not for the first time at how well their bodies fit together. She was tall but shorter than Serena in heels. When he pulled her in closer the top of her head fit perfectly against his cheek. The smell of her hair surrounded him, making it hard for him to concentrate on the music. He closed his eyes for a few seconds to commit the moment to memory and when he opened them he was hit with the sight of Quinn looking at them across the room.

Nate pulled away slightly but kept dancing. "Quinn's here," he said dryly.

"I know; I ran into him when we got here," she said. She wondered why he kept bringing up Quinn. Was he jealous that Jenny had less time for him since she started hanging out with the younger boy?

They continued dancing in silence for a few minutes, and when they turned Jenny saw Dan and Serena on the other side of the room, dancing closer than friends usually do. But as soon as she saw them they disappeared among the other dancers.

"You guys have been dating for a while," Nate said casually and Jenny was surprised. It took her a few seconds to realize he was still talking about Quinn.

"We're not dating; we're just friends," she answered in a tone that conveyed that he was silly to think otherwise.

"Are you sure?" Nate asked surprised.

"Of course I'm sure!" Jenny pulled away to look at his face. "What makes you think we're dating?" "Well, he obviously likes you," Nate declared, sure of himself.

Jenny didn't know what to reply to that and she was sure the shock of Nate's words was evident on her face. Since Quinn had never made a move she was sure that he only liked her as a friend. While she thought he was a nice, attractive guy, she couldn't see herself dating him. Or could she?

For a brief second, she contemplated what it would be like to date Quinn. He was certainly a gentleman; well-raised, respectful, and interesting. But as soon as the idea came to her she dismissed it. She would be taking advantage of him to try to get over Nate and she couldn't do that to him, especially since he had been a great friend to her ever since they met.

The song stopped and a fast one came on. Jenny didn't recognize it and didn't feel like dancing anymore so she asked Nate if they could get a drink. The following hour was spent making small talk with the people that she and Nate knew there and it turned out there were quite a few. She kept one eye on Quinn at all times though, not ready to confront him about Nate's declaration. However, she knew she would eventually have to and after she excused herself from Nate, she went to find him.

"Come for your dance?" he asked as he saw her approaching.

Jenny shook her head. "Can we talk?"

Quinn looked confused but he led Jenny out of the reception hall and into a small seating area in the lobby of the hotel. "What's going on?" he asked curiously.

"Do you like me?" she blurted out. She thought then that she would need to hone her conversation skills at some point. She couldn't keep saying whatever was on her mind indefinitely.

Quinn looked at the ground sheepishly, which confirmed her suspicions. "I don't know what to say," Jenny uttered. She felt awkward.

He shrugged his shoulders. "It doesn't really change anything, though, does it? I do like you, Jenny, I think you're beautiful and smart and interesting, but you're in love with Nate."

She'd never told him that and was impressed at his intuition. "I'm sorry," was all she could think to add.

"It's okay. I'm glad we're friends." He smiled softly. She wished she could have feelings for him.

Jenny smiled. "Me, too. I do care about you though. But I have to ask, since I met you, the Mean Girls don't ever bother me anymore. Why is that?" she asked, glad to have the opportunity to finally confront him.

He sighed. "Jasmine, the Queen... She's my cousin." He admitted. He almost seemed embarrassed by that.

Jenny gasped. "And let me guess, you know things about her she doesn't want anyone else to know?"

Quinn nodded sadly. "It's not like I would ever stoop so low as to expose her or anything like that, but I guess she's scared anyway."

Jenny shook her head in wonder. "You're a good guy, Quinn."

Now why couldn't see fall in love with him instead?

* * *

**Please hit the review button, I would love to know what you think of the story so far!**


	12. Chapter 12

Nate and Jenny met on the morning of Christmas Eve to exchange presents. Nate cooked breakfast for them and Jenny was surprised at how good everything tasted. It wasn't anything fancy, only eggs and bacon, but it meant a lot to her that he'd gone to the trouble when they could have just gone out to eat.

Jenny hadn't brought Quinn up since the night of the Christmas party at the Empire and Nate was dying to know if he had finally asked her out. "What happened between you and Quinn, by the way?" he asked in what he was hoping sounded like a casual inquiry.

Jenny looked down at her eggs then picked up a piece of bacon before putting it back on her plate. She sighed. "He told me he liked me but he knew I didn't feel that way about him so we're just going to stay friends."

Nate was surprised; he had really thought that she was interested in her classmate. "I'm sorry," he replied even though he wasn't. He felt a tiny surge of hope that maybe she was still in love with him, but a voice inside of him whispered that even if she was she deserved better than him, especially after jerking her around the way he did since they met. If he could be a good friend to her then that would have to be enough.

Jenny didn't reply and they finished their breakfast in silence. It was unusual for them as conversation always flowed freely, but neither knew what to say and it was a little awkward.

It was a relief when they were both done eating and they moved to the living room to open presents.

"Mine first!" Jenny exclaimed as she handed Nate one of her presents. One of them was a long box and the other was a thick square package.

"It's perfect," Nate said with a smile as he opened the long box, revealing an obviously handmade purple scarf. He had lost his a few weeks prior and hadn't found one he liked yet.

"I'm glad you like it," Jenny answered, beaming. She pushed the other package in his direction.

When he opened it he found two CDs of bands he had mentioned to her before. The first band he had seen in a bar with a few of his friends and he had told Jenny about it excitedly the next day. The other CD was of a European band that he had discovered online, however, very few of the actual CD's were being sold in the United States and Nate had looked everywhere for one without any luck.

"How did you find it?" he asked her in awe. He was touched by her thoughtfulness.

"If I told you all my secrets, I wouldn't be able to surprise you anymore," she replied, obviously proud of herself.

He took an envelope from the coffee table and handed it to her. "I'm a guy, so you'll have to forgive me if my gift isn't as amazing as yours," he teased.

Jenny rolled her eyes. "I'm sure it's perfect."

And it was. He'd gotten her a gift certificate for the fabric shop in Brooklyn she liked to go to. "I know you haven't had a lot of time to design and stuff," Nate said, "but you have to get your portfolio ready for college applications in the spring."

"Thank you," she said with a catch in her throat as she hugged him. His faith in her was one of the things she loved most about him. She gave him an extra squeeze before she let go. "I should get going," she declared reluctantly.

They both got up and walked to the door where he helped Jenny put on her coat.

"So, are you looking forward to Aspen?" Nate asked though his tone conveyed that he wasn't thrilled about her leaving. Not that she noticed.

Jenny shrugged. "I don't really ski, but everyone else is excited to go, so I'm mostly going so I can be with my family. You must be excited to see your family in the Hamptons."

Nate pouted. "They're going to harass me the entire time about breaking up with Serena and not having chosen my major yet. Then, they'll try to fix me up with every single girl they think would be appropriate for me. I think after two days I'll fake being sick and come back to the city," he said amused.

Jenny laughed. "Good luck with that!" She took a step forward and wrapped her arms around his neck. Nate's arms automatically went to her waist to hug her back. "Merry Christmas, Nate," she whispered in his ear.

"Merry Christmas, Jenny," he whispered back.

Just as he had predicted, his grandfather had brought a girl for Nate to meet to Christmas dinner. She was nice enough but she obviously wasn't interested in him and he felt the same way about her. At least it took the pressure off of them and they decided to make the most of the situation and just enjoy the dinner together. He couldn't help but compare her to Jenny: she didn't have her wit or her sarcasm and her blonde hair wasn't the right shade either.

After Boxing Day he considered going back to the city but the fact that there wasn't anyone there for him to talk to or hang out with made him reconsider. In fact, if there had only been one person there, Jenny, he would have gladly gone back to Manhattan and spent the rest of the Holidays with her. Instead, he found himself checking his phone every five minutes to make sure he hadn't missed a call or text from her. But whenever he called he always reached her voice mail and it took her hours to reply to his texts. He was happy that she was spending so much time with her family but he missed her terribly even though they hadn't even been apart for three days yet.

He couldn't delude himself into thinking his feelings for Jenny were strictly platonic anymore. But when he thought back to how he treated her, to the way he left her after her brother found out about them and the way he accused her at the Snowflake Ball without giving her a chance to defend herself, he couldn't envision her having any romantic feelings for him. Add to that the fact that he had gone back to Serena after she told him he shouldn't... How could she ever respect him and take his feelings seriously?

Jenny was sitting sketching in front of the fireplace in their cabin when Lily entered.

"Hey Lily, where are the others?" she asked with a small smile.

Lily shook her hair out and Jenny saw the little flecks of snow falling to the ground. "They wanted to go down a couple more times but I couldn't do it, it's too cold!"

Jenny laughed. "Well, now you know why I don't ski. Besides, I have no balance; I keep falling down every two minutes. Why don't you take a seat and I'll make you some coffee?" she asked as she lay down her sketch pad and walked to the kitchen.

"Thanks, honey," Lily answered. She quickly finished removing all her ski gear and sat on the couch. She looked at Jenny's sketch then curiously took the pad to flip through the pages. "These are great!" she called.

"Thanks," Jenny replied as she handed Lily her steaming cup of coffee.

Lily took a grateful sip. "They're a little... dark." She handed Jenny back her sketch pad.

"I want my designs to have a unified vibe," Jenny explained defensively.

"So it has nothing to do with the way you've been moping around?" Lily asked with a knowing smile.

Jenny sighed. "Fine, maybe I'm a little angry."

"Angry at who?" Lily wondered with a frown. "At us?"

Jenny shook her head and looked down at her sketch. Maybe it was a little dark. She'd been using her black pen quite a bit. "Angry at myself."

"Why?" Lily asked concerned.

Jenny hesitated before answering. "Every time Nate texts or calls me, I get these butterflies in my stomach. I think about him all the time and all I want to do is call him back to make sure his family isn't driving him crazy. And he said that his family was going to try and fix him up and what if he likes her? Why can't I just get over him?" Jenny asked sadly.

"Oh, sweetie," Lily answered compassionately before setting down her cup of coffee. She opened her arms and Jenny was happy to take refuge in them. "You can't control these things. You can fight it as much as you want, but in the end it's always going to be there. When I met your father again four years ago it was as if no time had passed and everything we felt when we first met came rushing back to us. We both tried to fight it and you saw what happened."

"Yeah, but you and Dad felt the same way. Nate only sees me as a friend," Jenny replied.

Lily's arms squeezed a little harder around Jenny. "I know it's hard, Jenny; I don't really know what else to tell you," she said apologetically.

Jenny sighed again. It seemed she did a lot of that these days. "I don't know either," she admitted.

* * *

**Please take a second to review, it would mean a lot to me to know what you think!**


	13. Chapter 13

**A.N.: Sorry about the delay. Once again thanks to my beta starzee for proofing this for me!**

* * *

Jenny was back from visiting her mother one hour before Nate called her up and asked her to meet him. He thought he was pathetic for calling her so soon and she thought she was pitiful for agreeing, but nevertheless, as soon as they were in each other's company they were happy again. Nate told her all about his bad date on Christmas Day and Jenny told him all about the sketching she'd done over the Holidays and the last days of misery were a distant memory.

School started again but every meeting Nate and Jenny had was bittersweet. They were both glad to be around each other but they both felt like they were in this friendship by default, that if the other would only return their feelings then they could cross that line and finally be completely happy. But they were both convinced that their love couldn't possibly be reciprocated so they swallowed their misery and tried to be good and supportive friends. Nate helped Jenny put together her portfolio for her applications to design schools and Jenny helped Nate figure out his major without pressure or expectations.

It took a lot of convincing from Nate and her family, but Jenny finally agreed to submit her work to the Parsons School of Design even though she was convinced Blair had completely blown her chances in the fall. Jenny also applied to several schools in Europe but she was still unsure if she'd be capable of being away from her family for an entire school year. She had to admit that she liked the idea of starting over in a new place where people wouldn't know anything about her. Having people who wouldn't care about Gossip Girl... that was what finally convinced her to send in her applications.

Dan decided to soften the blow of announcing his renewed relationship with Serena by setting Nate up on a blind date, his rhetoric being that if Nate was happy with someone else he wouldn't care that his friend and his ex-girlfriend were together. Nate tried to convince him that he was fine with it and didn't want to be set up but Dan insisted so much that eventually he relented to shut him up.

Nate met Dan, Serena and Mandy at a pub near NYU. He almost texted Dan to cancel but every excuse he could find sounded fake. He would have much rather spent the evening at the movies with Jenny and Erik if he had a choice in the matter, which he totally didn't.

Nate suffered through the evening, fighting to keep the conversation going even when he would rather just let it die and have the evening over with. They went through every topic possible, from movies to local politics to the war in Afghanistan, and every time they exhausted a topic Dan would come up with something else they apparently had in common. He couldn't believe Dan thought this girl was perfect for him because he wasn't attracted to her in the slightest. He thought he'd been doing a good job of covering up until Serena interrupted Mandy during a monologue on Italian cinema – since Nate liked to watch movies and had once been to Italy, he undoubtedly had to like Italian cinema.

"We have brunch at the penthouse tomorrow morning, so I think we should call it a night," Serena declared. Mandy stopped in the middle of the sentence. "You said you lived around here, right, Mandy? Dan, can you walk her home while Nate and I take care of the bill?"

Dan and Mandy seemed confused but couldn't deny that they'd been dismissed. When Mandy asked Nate if they'd see each other again, it was Serena that answered that they should all get together soon.

When they were alone, Serena stared at Nate with a self-satisfied smile on her face. "What?" Nate asked her suspiciously.

"I know what was wrong with her. Do you?" Serena returned.

"Yes, as a matter of fact I do know. She was uninteresting, self-absorbed and desperate," he stated.

Serena nodded. "I agree. Don't you think she was pretty, though?" she asked curiously.

Nate shrugged. "Not especially, no. You know I prefer blondes."

Serena laughed. "That is so not true! You dated Blair and she was never blonde. No, I think the only thing wrong with Mandy is that she's not a specific blonde." Her lip quirked a little as she tried to stop a smug smile from appearing on her face.

Nate lowered his eyes as he took a sip from his mostly watered-down drink. "I don't know what you're talking about," he stated with as much innocence as he could muster.

"Sure you do," Serena said. She leaned forward, elbows on the table as she stared back at Nate, waiting for him to answer.

Nate sighed. He hadn't expected to be having this conversation with Serena and he definitely wasn't in the mood for a fight. "If you're referring to Jenny, then we're just friends. I don't know how many times I have to tell you that," he declared with an annoyed huff.

"You're in love with her," Serena declared matter-of-factly. "If you'd just admit it, then you guys could be together and we could all move on with our lives."

"Wait a minute," Nate said as he leaned back in his chair, studying Serena. "I'm confused. Why aren't you angry?" He cocked an eyebrow at her.

"Because you're clueless. If I had thought for once second that you knew you were in love with Jenny while we were together, then we'd be having a whole different conversation. But you really thought you two were just friends." She smiled.

Nate ran a hand through his hair then crossed his arms in front of him. "So what if I'm in love with Jenny? It doesn't change anything," he muttered.

"Ugh!" Serena cried out as she threw her hands in the air. "Of course it changes things. She's in love with you..."

Nate interrupted her. "You think?" He'd really thought that Jenny had gotten over her feelings for him, but if she hadn't... He tried to suppress a grin.

"I know she is. From my point of view, it's pretty obvious. Actually, it's obvious to everyone but you," Serena said as she thought that over.

Nate opened his mouth to protest but no sound came out. If it were true, then there really was a chance for him and Jenny. He'd be able to hold her and kiss her whenever he wanted to, he would be able to tell her he loved her a thousand times a day, if he wished, and he wouldn't need to be set up on these stupid blind dates anymore. He could introduce her to his family, and he knew that Jenny would absolutely fit in. She was always polite, but she would never let them walk all over her and she wouldn't allow them to pull him into politics if he didn't want to do it.

But just as soon as he finished those thoughts he realized how selfish they were. They were all about him, about what Jenny could bring to _his_ life. But what could he offer her?

Nate shook his head. "No, I can't do that to her. She's going to graduate soon and she'll go to design school. If we're together then I'm only going to hold her back."

Serena sighed. "No, Nate, you're wrong. She loves you, she'd be happy with you, I know it, and you'd be happy with her. You'd work it out," she said genuinely.

"I can't let her base her decisions about her future on our relationship and I know that's what she'd do. She has a real chance to learn design in Paris or Rome, but she'd stay in New York because of me. She'd resent me for it. No, we're better off being friends."

Serena looked at him with defeat on her face. "For the record, I think you're wrong. But I know there's no changing your mind when you're all noble, so I'll let it go for now."

Nate was saved from replying when Dan arrived. "So, did you like her?" Dan asked his friend.

Serena shook her head with a smile. "Come on, Dan, let's go home," she said as she took his arm and headed for the exit.


	14. Chapter 14

**A.N. Once again, sorry for the delay. It took me a while to write and then I had to wait for my beta starzee to work her magic! Hope you enjoy!**

* * *

The next morning, at the family brunch at the penthouse, Dan was recounting the previous night's double date with Nate and Mandy.

"I don't understand," Dan said, leaning back in his chair, "she's perfect for Nate. She's age-appropriate, she's smart and knows all about politics, she's classy and pretty... They have so much in common! When I talk to her sometimes I feel like I'm speaking to Nate!"

"It can be boring dating someone who has the same personality and the same interests as you," Rufus explained.

Dan shook his head. "I'm sure they're not _that _similar. I mean, you need common interests to start building a connection, right? Jenny, you know Nate, what do you think?" He asked curiously.

Jenny had been trying to ignore Dan all morning, but he made it impossible. He had somehow made it his mission to find Nate a girlfriend and Jenny was finding it hard to watch his attempts at matchmaking, knowing that at any moment Nate might find one of these girls attractive and decide to start dating her.

"I don't know, Dan," she answered somewhat dryly, "maybe he just doesn't want to date anyone right now. Besides, he's perfectly capable of finding someone by himself." She just wanted the conversation over _right now_.

"I don't think so. I mean, first there was you, and then there was that married woman, what was her name? And then he dated Bree... and that was a disaster of epic proportions. And do I even need to mention Juliet?" he asked and Jenny was a little pissed that he included her in that list.

"I should get started on my designs for the play," Jenny said as she got up. Apparently Dan wasn't going to shut up anytime soon. "May I be excused?" she asked Lily.

"Of course, sweetheart," Lily said in a compassionate tone, knowing how difficult this whole conversation must be for her.

Lily and Serena exchanged a knowing look as Jenny left the table. As she walked to her room, Jenny heard a smack.

"What? What did I do this time?" She heard Dan ask, annoyed.

* * *

A few weeks later, Nate found Jenny in her room, sitting at her desk with three piles of paper in front of her.

"Hey, you're early!" Jenny said happily as she rose to greet him.

"Yeah, I thought we'd grab a bite to eat before the movie. What are you doing?" He walked over to the desk where he saw three college acceptance letters: The Marangoni Fashion School in Milan, the Esmod France Fashion School in Paris and the Parsons New School of Design in New York. Nate whistled. "Jenny, you got into all three?" he asked proudly.

Jenny nodded. "I got into two more, but these are my final choices."

"Congratulations." Did it only sound forced to him? He hoped so.

Jenny sighed and sat on her bed. She waited until Nate joined her to start speaking. "I just don't know if I want to go away for that long. Did you ever regret staying in Manhattan and going to Columbia?" she asked with wide innocent eyes.

"No, but that was me. Going to Columbia was different from what my family wanted, so that's how I asserted myself. You can't base your decision on my experience," he said to her though it killed him to do it.

Jenny laid her head on Nate's shoulder, finding some comfort in his presence. She wasn't anywhere near close to a decision, but she still had a few weeks to figure it out and in the meantime, the movie would be a good distraction.

* * *

Nate took a deep breath before the doors of the elevator opened to Chuck's penthouse suite. Jenny hadn't made her decision about college yet and it was getting harder and harder being around her without blurting out that he wanted her to stay. So when Chuck offered to hang out that day he took him up on it.

"I half-expected you not to show up," Chuck said from behind the bar.

"I know, I'm sorry I haven't been around," Nate said. Their friendship was obviously still strained but Nate figured he wouldn't be able to repair it unless they actually spent time together. He did kind of miss Chuck since they'd been friends for such a long time.

They played pool and drank for a while, but their easy camaraderie was gone and they both knew it. They both drank more than usual and when Nate missed two easy shots in a row he decided it was time to quit. He walked over to the couch and dropped heavily on the cushions with a sigh.

"I thought you were over it," Chuck said softly while looking out the window.

"What are you talking about?" Nate asked. He took another sip from his drink.

"I slept with Jenny. I thought you'd forgiven me for that. You said you did," Chuck said in an accusing tone.

"I don't want to talk about this," Nate said as a warning.

"Well, we have to. Because I don't see what else could be the problem, here." Chuck turned around to face his friend but Nate kept looking down at his glass.

"I slept with Jenny," Chuck continued when Nate didn't speak, "because she was upset and I thought I had just lost Blair," he explained.

"You had no right," Nate growled.

"I didn't know she was a virgin, she didn't tell me that!" Chuck practically yelled back.

"It should have been me!" Nate yelled, getting up suddenly. "I should have been her first," he declared in a quieter voice. He'd screwed up in so many ways with Jenny and the fact that she'd gone to Chuck for comfort was a testament to that. He felt so much guilt over that as you can only lose your virginity once and she would have to live with the fact hers was lost to Chuck and not him. He wanted it to be him!

"So you're not mad at me," Chuck said, trying to understand as he walked toward the couch and sat down. "You're mad at yourself."

Nate sighed, nodded, and joined him.

"Are you in love with her?" Chuck raised an eyebrow.

Nate nodded again, not trusting his voice.

"Then what are you waiting for? You have a chance to fix things and be together, why don't you take it?" Chuck asked in confusion. _Everyone _knew that Jenny was in love with Nate. He didn't see the issue.

"She's going off to college," Nate said, "she has her whole life in front of her. I don't want to hold her back," he explained.

It was Chuck's turn to sigh. "Blair and I were holding each other back; in the end that's why we broke up. We wanted a chance to see who we could be as individuals because we consumed each other too much when we were together. But I see now, the more time we spend apart the more we grow in different directions. And I have less and less faith that we'll ever find our way back to each other." He paused. "Don't let that happen to you and Jenny," Chuck said sincerely. Nate was sure it was possibly the best advice Chuck had ever given him.

Nate took a sip, contemplating what Chuck said. He truly believed in timing, that if two people were at different points in their lives then the chances of them having a successful relationship was slim at best. He and Jenny had never been closer than right now, had never been so in synch with each other, even though she was two years younger than him and still in high school.

"Alright, I'll do it. I'll tell Jenny I'm in love with her," he declared with a smile. It was as if a weight had been lifted off his shoulders until he wondered... how was he going to tell her?


	15. Chapter 15

**A.N.: Sorry this took so long! This was a hard one for me to write but I think it turned out okay. Let me know what you think!**

* * *

"So, how was dinner with Nate?" Erik asked as he and Serena walked into Jenny's room, only a few minutes after she got home.

Jenny smiled immediately as she thought back to how much fun she had at dinner with Nate. He'd taken her to a tapas place that had opened in his neighbourhood just a few weeks ago. They'd had a blast sampling all the different dishes. "It was fine," she finally answered a few seconds later after she'd replayed it in her mind.

"That smile on your face says otherwise," Serena said with a smile of her own. "You guys are together all the time lately," she commented.

"Not all the time! I'm still busy getting the costumes ready for the play in two weeks," Jenny replied defensively.

"Come on, Jen, we barely see you anymore," Erik said.

"Nate and I are friends," Jenny added in her defence.

"I don't spend that much time with my friends, even Blair. What about you Erik?" Serena asked amused.

Erik shook his head. "Not even Elliott and we're dating," he said.

"And I don't get starry-eyed every time someone mentions them, do you, Erik?" Serena asked with a twinkle in her eyes.

Erik shook his head in agreement.

Jenny threw her hands up in the air. "What do you want me to say?" she asked exasperated. She really didn't know what they wanted from her.

Serena looked at her right in the eyes. "Are you still in love with Nate?" she asked.

Jenny swallowed and looked down to the floor. Finally, admitting defeat, she sat down on her desk chair. "Yes," she said softly.

"I knew it!" Serena cried out happily.

"I told you," Erik said. Jenny was a little hurt that Erik would tell Serena that but she didn't comment on it.

"It's not like he's in love with me. I know it makes you happy to see me suffer but this is cruel," Jenny accused Serena.

"It doesn't make me happy, at least not anymore," Serena answered. "I think you and Nate could be good together."

Jenny sighed. "Yeah, well, he only sees me as a friend and I don't see that changing any time soon. So let's just drop it, okay?" Jenny asked annoyed.

Serena looked like she was going to say something but ended up keeping whatever it was to herself, instead choosing to leave the room. Jenny looked at Erik with an interrogating look, wondering what had happened with Serena to make her act so strangely. Erik only shrugged his shoulders in response and followed her out the door.

* * *

Nate took a deep breath before knocking on the Brooklyn loft door. He had absolutely no idea how his conversation with Dan was going to go and he had no idea what he would do if it went badly.

"Hey Nate," Dan said surprised as he opened the door, "come on in!" he exclaimed happily.

"Thanks," Nate replied, ever so polite.

"Want some coffee?" Dan offered.

"No, thanks. I need to talk to you about something but I don't know how you're going to take it," Nate declared. He figured getting to the point would be better than dancing around it.

Dan frowned. "Is this about Serena?" he asked confused.

Nate shook his head. He took another deep breath and blurted out, "I'm in love with Jenny."

Dan was obviously taken aback. "Oh," was all he said.

"Given how you reacted last time, I thought you might like a heads up first."

Dan took a seat at the counter. "I think I screwed up," he muttered.

"What?" Nate asked, confused. "What did you do?" he asked hesitantly. Things were complicated enough with Jenny without having to fix something Dan did.

"Well, after our blind date the other day, at brunch, I was going on and on about how Mandy was perfect for you and Jenny was right there. I even pointed her out as an example of how bad you are at choosing girlfriends," Dan explained as he winced.

Nate rolled his eyes. "I should have never agreed to go." He paused. "Wait, so you're okay with this?" he asked. He was kind of pissed at Dan for saying Jenny was a 'bad example' but he figured it would be best not to rock the boat.

Dan smiled. "I know I was upset the last time, but Jenny was still so young and I felt like you had taken advantage of our letting you stay here. But now, you two are really close and I think you're good for her," he explained.

Nate sighed in relief. "Thanks, Dan." He decided to overlook the 'taken advantage' comment for an easy life.

Dan shook his head in disbelief. "I can't believe you came here to ask for my blessing. What would you have done if I told you I wasn't okay with it?" he asked curiously.

Now that Nate wasn't as nervous, he took the time to sit. "I don't know. She's so happy your family is getting along, I don't know if I could have caused a rift between you guys," he said honestly.

Dan nodded and was silent for a while. "You know, little sister trumps friend," he pointed out.

Nate smiled. "I know. But you don't have to worry about that, I would _never_ hurt her. Not again," he promised.

* * *

Jenny was at the kitchen table with three pro-con lists when Lily walked in.

"I thought you were going to the movies with the others," Lily said as she took off her coat and shook out the snowflakes that had stuck to it.

Jenny shook her head. "I've decided that I'm making my decision tonight."

Lily walked up behind her and looked over the three lists. "Well, what is it that's stopping you?" she asked.

"I want to go to Parsons, but I'm afraid that it's the safe choice. Going abroad could be good for me, but I don't really want to be away from you guys and..." she trailed off.

"And?" Lily asked with an eyebrow raised, already knowing who she meant.

"And from Nate," Jenny added. "He's one of my best friends. And I know Erik is going to Yale next year and he won't be here, but you and Dad and Dan and Serena are going to be here. But if I have a chance to go to Europe, I should go, right? I mean, not wanting to be away from your family shouldn't be a factor," she said unconvinced.

"Oh, Jenny," Lily said in her motherly voice, sitting down next to her, "the people we love should always factor into our important decisions. If you're only going to Europe to be miserable, then it's probably not the right choice for you right now. It doesn't mean you won't get other opportunities to go later. Or you can make your own opportunities. Europe will still be there if you decide to go later. On the other hand, the people that really love you will always be here for you, wherever you are in the world."

Jenny liked that Lily could always see both sides. Lily kissed Jenny on the top of her head and left her to make her decision.

Jenny looked back at her three lists in light of what Lily had said. She had been overjoyed when she realized she had been accepted into Parsons. It had always been her dream, but then again she had never considered going to Europe for school. For the first time she thought she might actually be able to do it, to go away for a few years. It would be made easier by knowing she had her friends and family waiting at home for her.

As it happened often these days, her thoughts went back to Nate. There was no doubt in her mind that she was in love with him, but his feelings were unsure. Since he had broken up with Serena it often felt like they were dating, but they told everyone they were only friends. It was becoming more painful every time they saw each other to only act as friends, to watch herself to make sure she didn't act inappropriately or make sure she didn't say the wrong thing. She wanted nothing more than to confess her feelings to him as they were becoming a heavy burden to bear.

She imagined herself carrying that burden for the foreseeable future, seeing Nate practically every day for the next few years but only staying friends. It would be impossible to fall out of love with him if they stayed so close. How long would she be able to stand it?

Finally, a wave of calm washed over her and she knew her decision had been made. She had always known what she would end up doing and now that her conscious mind had caught up to her subconscious she felt at peace with herself. She picked up her acceptance letter and put it in the corresponding envelope, knowing she would sleep peacefully that night.


	16. Chapter 16

**A.N.: I'm sorry this took so long. I guess you know what's coming, so I hope you like it!**

* * *

Jenny stood in front of Nate's door and took a deep breath. She had resolved to tell him which school she had decided on for the next year and she had no idea what his reaction would be. He had stayed very neutral on the subject and she desperately wanted him to approve.

When Nate opened the door, she was shocked. She had expected to see the TV on, cartons of Chinese food on the table like almost every time she came over... Instead, the lights were dimmed and there were candles everywhere. She could smell the Chinese food but couldn't see it, which probably meant that he had it set on the dining room table.

After taking all of that in, Jenny's eyes went carefully to Nate. His eyes were fixed on her, a nervous smile on his face. He was dressed in nice slacks and the blue shirt Jenny liked to wear when she came over. She could feel the hope expand in her chest, threatening to explode, but she forced herself to swallow it. She had been disappointed too many times where Nate was concerned and she wanted to be careful. She wasn't ready to hope yet.

Nate took a step back and let Jenny into the apartment. He tried reading her face but for once he had no idea what she was thinking. She had been shocked at first, that had been clear, but now she had put up a mask that he couldn't read through.

"What's going on, Nate?" she asked, a little breathless.

"I thought we could have dinner first and then we could talk," he answered.

Jenny shook her head, wanting his explanation right away. The idea of sitting through an entire meal while making idle conversation was unbearable.

"Okay, straight to the point. I can do that." Nate took a deep breath. "Do you want to sit down?" he asked as he pointed the couch.

Jenny shook her head again, having completely lost her voice. Nate could see that she looked a little nervous behind her calm expression.

Nate swallowed, took another deep breath and took her hands in his. "We've been through so much together, the last few months, and we've grown so close that I can't imagine my life without you in it. You're my best friend, Jenny, I know I can tell you anything and you'll never judge me and you'll always support me."

"When we were together two years ago, I put you on a pedestal. I wanted so much for you to be different from Blair and Serena that I refused to see that you had faults just like any other human being. I was so busy trying to ensure you were different from them, I didn't take the time to actually get to know you then."

Jenny's heart started beating even faster than it already was and she could feel tears threatening to spill down her face. But she kept them in, determined to memorize everything about this moment, especially the look on Nate's face.

Nate took her watery eyes as a good sign and continued. "I left you as soon as people found out about us and to make matters worse, I completely dismissed you at the Snowflake Ball. I made you feel as if you were a terrible human being, but you weren't... you were just human."

"But I see you now, Jenny." Nate released one of her hands and tucked a strand of hair behind her ear, caressing her cheek. "I see the person you are, faults and all, and I see the person you want to become. I know I said I only wanted to be friends, but I want more, now. And I know I'm nowhere near perfect, but I'm a better person than I was when we first met and that's because of you. I hope that now, I might be good enough to deserve you."

A tear ran down Jenny's cheek. Nate was saying all the things she had ever wanted him to say. Part of her thought it could be a dream, but the feeling of her hand in his was grounding her to reality. She wanted to speak, to tell him that he was definitely good enough, that if anything, it was her that didn't deserve him, but he seemed to be on a roll and she didn't want to interrupt him.

"I told myself that I wouldn't say anything so that it wouldn't influence where you went to college. In the end, I had to do everything I could to convince you to stay. But I want you to know that if you do decide to go to Europe..."

Jenny took a step toward him, putting her fingers over his mouth and shutting him up. "My turn to speak, now," she said softly.

Nate nodded and Jenny took her hand away.

"I decided on Parsons; I sent in my letter yesterday. I wasn't going to say anything about my feelings for you, but I was hoping that someday, if you saw how much of an effort I was making to change, you could fall in love with me too," she admitted.

Nate smiled widely at her and framed her face with his hands. "I already love you."

Jenny smiled back. "I love you too. And if you don't kiss me right now..."

Nate didn't let her finish her threat. He brought his head down and laid his lips on hers, softly at first then with a little more pressure. Her lips tasted better than he remembered: they tasted like home. He wanted more, needed more, so he dropped one hand to the small of her back and pressed her body firmly against his.

Jenny couldn't believe it was really happening. Just a few minutes before, she had resolved herself to a year or more of misery, being around Nate but not being able to tell him how she really felt. Now, she was completely surrounded by him, by his scent and his warmth. Most of all, he loved her and wanted to be with her. When she felt his tongue she immediately opened up her mouth and moaned at the sensation of their tongues touching. It was everything she remembered kissing Nate was and more. This time she didn't have to wonder how he felt or if they would ever be together: she knew. And it was amazing.

They both waited until they were completely out of breath before pulling away.

"Wow," Jenny said as she laughed.

"Yeah, that," Nate replied, still a little dazed. He pressed a kiss to her forehead then took her in his arms for a hug. In the end, Chuck had been right. He'd taken a chance and just that kiss had been worth it.

Jenny could feel hear how fast Nate's heart was beating and was glad she wasn't the only one who had been affected by their kiss. Just as she started realizing what being together meant for their physical relationship Nate pulled away from her.

"I love you," he said again and Jenny could see it in his eyes. "Are you hungry?"

"I love you too," she answered even though he probably hadn't been expecting a response and she rose on her toes to press her lips to his quickly, just because she could. "And yes, I probably shouldn't be but I'm starving," she said and he chuckled a little.

They walked to the small dining room which they usually never used. There was a dark red tablecloth and candlesticks. All the food had been placed in serving dishes and Nate had taken out the silverware. He was probably the only college student in New York who owned silverware, Jenny thought, but she knew it had been a gift from his mother when he moved out of Chuck's apartment.

Jenny noticed the pots and pans on the stove. "Did you cook?" she asked warily.

Nate laughed and shook his head, then went to pull up her chair. Jenny sat down.

"I tried, but I kept messing up so I ordered in. I was going to do the dishes before you got here but I ran out of time."

They had dinner and if Nate didn't lean over to kiss her every chance he got or look at her with all that love in his eyes, Jenny would have never known something had shifted in their relationship. They were just as comfortable and open with each other as ever and she knew that was exactly how a good relationship should be. She told him all about how excited she was to go to Parsons and he told her about going to see Dan. She had been a little offended at first that Nate thought Dan had a say in her life but she realized that in the end she was glad she didn't have to worry about his reaction.

After dinner they had a great time cuddling on the couch and laughing at all the people who had tried to meddle in their relationship. Jenny especially found it hilarious that Serena and Chuck of all people would try to get her and Nate together.

In the end, though, they both knew it would have never worked if they had gotten together earlier. They had to fix their own lives before they could concentrate on being in a successful relationship. All the grief and all the pain of the past few months were erased as they sat happy in each other's arms.

It had all been worth it, since it had gotten them to that moment.


	17. Epilogue

Jenny walked into the large ballroom and made sure her mask was securely fastened. She looked down in distaste at her dress and then lifted her eyes to look over the other guests.

For this masked ball, Jenny had gone against everything she stood for, against every instinct she had.

First of all, she had gone to the largest department store and asked for their most popular mask instead of making one herself. Her first look around the ballroom revealed three masks exactly like hers and a few other ones that looked similar.

Secondly, she had bought her dress off the rack and only modified it a little. Even though it fit her very well, it was plain for her taste and style.

And finally, she had walked into the ballroom alone, whereas normally she always walked into these events with Nate by her side as a way of showing every woman there that this man was hers. Ever since she and Nate declared their feelings for each other two months ago she felt like women were hitting on him even more than usual, so this was usually a small way to lay her claim on him.

She trusted Nate, she really did. But they had so many mishaps at masked balls before that as soon as she had found out about this event her brain had conducted this little experiment. He didn't know what she looked like: how she would style her hair, what mask she had chosen or which dress she had decided to wear. She had carefully hidden everything away from prying eyes at home so that no one in her family knew either. She faked being late and took a cab instead of riding in the limousine with her family and she told Nate she would meet him there.

But now that she was there she felt foolish. Who cared if he could recognize her amongst a hundred other women? She would still be leaving with him at the end of the night and she was still the one he would text to wish goodnight to before going to bed.

She sighed and walked over to the bar. She had just grabbed one of the flutes of champagne when a large hand landed on her hip and she was hit with the smell of Nate's cologne. She smiled automatically.

"So, did I pass?" Nate asked from behind her, his mouth at level with her ear.

"I'm sorry," Jenny apologized sincerely as she turned around. "I don't know what came over me."

Nate laughed. "Well, considering our history with masked balls, I can't say I blame you." He took the glass from her hand, put it back on the bar then took her hand and walked with her to the dance floor.

When she was finally in his arms and swaying to the music Jenny sighed. "I trust you, you know. I don't want to be this crazy insecure girlfriend."

Nate's shoulder shrugged and he started drawing circles on the top of her hand with his thumb. "This is still new, Jenny. And we're both always going to have insecurities."

Jenny looked up at him in surprise. She hated that she couldn't read his face so she lifted his mask even though they weren't supposed to take them off yet. "What do you have to be insecure about?" she asked softly, confusion evident in her voice.

"It's nothing specific, I just... I wonder if you'll leave me for someone else, someone better," he confessed.

"Nate..." Jenny started, unsure of how to respond to probably the most ridiculous thing she'd ever heard.

"It's okay. When I start feeling that way I just call you and as soon as you answer I know it's stupid." He smiled.

"Just like I knew my plan was stupid as soon as I walked in here." Jenny laughed. "I think we're just the right amount of screwed up for each other."

Nate shook his head and kissed her softly. "No, I'm screwed up. You're perfect."

Jenny swore that she swooned at his total acceptance of her and wrapped her arms tightly around him, laying her head on his chest. After a few seconds she raised her head and looked around the ballroom. Her father and Lily were talking with some people she didn't know. When Lily saw her looking at them she waved to Jenny, recognizing her despite her mask. Jenny smiled and waved back. She was lucky to have a stepmother as understanding as Lily and she was closer to her father than she had been in a long time. He fully approved of her relationship with Nate and she was glad he trusted her. Being with Nate seemed to have fixed all of her problems.

Dan and Serena were dancing a few feet away from her and Nate and they seemed oblivious to the world. Jenny hadn't seen Chuck yet but she knew he would be there; he never missed a masked ball if he could help it. Erik was off to the side, talking to his date. He and Elliott had broken up a few weeks ago and he seemed fine with it as far as Jenny could tell. He had already met someone else, an undergrad from NYU whose father worked at Bass industries. They both knew it wasn't very serious since Erik was going off to Yale in the fall, so it was the perfect rebound for him to have before college.

Jenny looked around once again trying to find Blair. She and Chuck were staying as far away from each other as they could and it seemed to be working. Chuck's hotel had never been more successful and he was already starting to branch out into other ventures and Blair was doing great at Columbia and had even landed herself a high profile internship at W magazine. It was everything she had ever wanted and more and she didn't seem to be too lonely.

Serena opted not to move back in with her and instead stayed half with her family and half at the loft with Dan. The whole Van der Woodsen-Humphrey clan had never been so close and Jenny had never been happier.

Nate had to admit he couldn't complain either. He was doing well in school and he had decided on international politics for his major. He didn't quite know what he would do with that yet but it interested him and it also pleased his family. Anne had been very pleased when Nate had introduced Jenny to her as his girlfriend. She could tell what a good influence she was in Nate's life considering he had been keeping out of trouble. The rest of the family seemed on the fence about her since she wasn't originally from the UES but they hadn't been outwardly antagonistic toward her. He had faith that Jenny would win them over eventually but he didn't really care what they thought about her anyway since he loved her and that was all that mattered.

He wasn't completely the man he wanted to be, but he was getting there. And that was more than enough for now.

* * *

**A.N.: So, this is it! I hope you liked this story and if you did please leave a little review, it means the world to me! I have a few more ideas for NJ stories but I want to continue the ones I have started already. Thanks to everyone who started reading this from the very beginning, I learned a lot about myself as a writer while I was writing this.**


End file.
